How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 11:35am
Your post makes me sad. So, your children learned to sleep through the night, because you refused to go into them. Sure, you were exhausted from being woken up every night. It is absolutely NORMAL as well as NATURAL for infants to wake up during the night. And NO, babies that wake up at 6 months of age are NOT attempting to MANIPULATE their parents. Being a parent is NOT only about MOM or DAD. Infants and young children have legitimate needs that require attention. I do NOT think refusing to tend to a baby's legitimate needs is in any way, shape, or form a healthy parenting practice. In fact, it is down right unhealthy. I'm am so offened by posts such as this. Why do parents believe that they "have to be firm and dictate what their children need?" WHY it OK for PARENTS to do the MANIPULATING, because that's exactly what they're doing. If parents truely believe a 6 month old baby is capable of manipulation, then they should be willing to accept that as adults, they are doing the very SAME thing. Sadly enough, babies simply want comfort and assurance from their parents. Parents who try to force a schedule, whether it's sleeping or feeding, on an infant are simply attempting to make the child adapt to their OWN needs. In other words, parents are doing the manipulating. Shame on you, for thinking your children are trying to manipulate you. And shame on you for KNOWINGLY MANIPULATING YOUR OWN CHILDREN! That's just disgusting. You're an adult. You SHOULD know better. How egocentric can you be?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 11:35am
And again - I would suggest that almost all 10 month old children who wean are doing so prematurely and have probably learned to prefer the bottle/cup over time or are on a nursing strike that is interpreted as a desire to wean

Why do YOU get to make suggestions based on a relationship that you know nothing and assign motivations and others don't? Why is "your" way (not YOU specifically) *always* above censure as the right and natural thing to do and others are somehow not as in tune with their baby (as in I couldn't tell a nursing strike from a desire to wean), etc..

SUS

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 11:38am
Did you notice the part where I said "almost all?" My post presumes nothing about your particular situation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 11:38am
Oh, so you are flamebaiting. Thanks for clariying that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 11:44am
Okay - I missed that - I still think that there are those assumptions, just as you might see a bias against your way of doing things. If someone said based on their personal experience "almost all" women who bf past 3 years are doing it for some kind of non-sexual self gratification (ie the winner of the uber-mom wars) - how would you respond? Of course they weren't talking about YOUR particular situation....

FTR - 10 months is not to early to introduce a cup by common standards.

SUS

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 11:44am
And that's such a generalization.

<>

DD weaned herself at 9 mo. She had never had a bottle, so she couldn't be preferring it. She had only had a cup on rare occasions, she I doublt she was preferring it. She didn't start solids til 6 months. And it wasn't a nursing strike.

But, I guess I should have shoved my nipple in her mouth whether she wanted it or not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 11:45am
No, but to presume for "almost all" is way too big a task for little ole you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 11:45am
She will have to take that back to her "board" of internet friends and onlookers to discuss how she is going to figure out that one. "They" will be getting back to you with a smart ass remark soon I am sure. LOL

BTW, how is your son feeling today? Are you back to work? Take care!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 11:46am
You could always (gasp) not reply. If you're a SAHM when the heck to you see your kids, considering you posted almost all day yesterday.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 11:46am
WEll, give us something to start fresh with ...you have a problem? Be part of the solution.

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