How does this relate to the debate?
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| Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm |
Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.
I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...
There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.
There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.
Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new
Hollie

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If my child needs me, or wants me, I want him to know that I'll be there for him. And, as long as he doesn't appear to be crossing that imaginary line into manipulation, it would, IMO, be mean of me not to comfort him. Part of my job as a mother is to make sure my kids are *emotinally* safe and secure, not just physically.
But as I said, the other extreme is just as unappealing. Kids need to learn to comfort themselves at times. Kids need to learn that if they just relax and calm down, they can drift back to sleep.
The middle ground can be hard to find. I found it quite easily with dd. I still struggle at times with ds.
Hollie
I don't actually have a particular problem with CIO methods, but I found that it didn't work for me the way it has worked with others so I dropped that battle. I didn't feel the burning urge to forcefully wean the kids (there was no way they were goin to happily wean on their own at that age) just because they turned 1...I did move they towards weaning when they were around 1.5 and they were done by 2.5. I scheduled them with sleep to a degree, but frankly, both kids fell into a pretty scheduled routine on their own without too much nudging from me. There is absolutely no relationship between extended nursing or lack of CIO and failure to discipline later. Both kids got plenty of "nos" from the time they were crawling.
Laura
I think my kids were around 10 months old when I introduced the cup. My kids did get diluted juice and probably water (can't even remember) from aIt's not the cup itself I had problems with, it was the suggestion that EBM from a cup is prefereable to delivery through the human breast.
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