How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 5:55pm
i think it's that this particular poster has no understanding that HER way of parenting is NOT the "only" way of parenting. That EVERY choice she has made is BETTER than ANY other choice ANY other parent could make. She slammed an ENTIRE feeding choice and, as usual, held HER way up as the STANDARD of "ALL things Parenting" (as she does with EVERY single issue that comes up)....Beth Ann has NEVER come close to anything like that.

Was Beth Ann's comment out of line? Yeah, but she was only focused on that one particular part of child-feeding. I have NEVER before heard her EVER (in words or attitude) say that her way was the only right way....which momofhk does at EVERY single turn.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 5:57pm
and you call me a "troll"...I do not have a board for my internet friend's i had a mail box full of some onlookers and friends from around the site. You do realize this topis is on the main page of ivillage boards.

I am very blunt and to the point, Iam not always right, Iam not perfect, I make mistakes and dont always make wise choice I was WRONG for posting my thoughts about eileen there i s no excuse. I choose my words incorrectly, so maybe as virgo said i need to re-evalute the way I come across it has value. Iam hard to read, it gets frustrating at times and I back lash with misdirected anger. The people I communicate with are use to me...

the saga continues

unity^

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 6:02pm
Goodness I have posted this like three times. So If im repeating myself, it is for satisfaction cuz i cant se if it was read....so mistyeyed, Im not offended in the least.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 6:02pm
WHat's even funnier is that I TOO would consider myself an "Infant/Child Advocate" ALL THE WHILE making DIFFERENT choices than you. However, i have NEVER insinuated that you should make the same choices.

I even assumed that we were BOTH reasonably intelligent adults....and could make the best decisions for our children -- EVEN THOUGH those decisions were different (NOT better, NOT worse -- JUST different)....How that makes just YOU an infant/child advocate i'll never know.

Respectfully, it does seem that Childrearing Philosophy Bigot is much closer to the way that you approach your parenting vs. that of others....I'm surprised that you can't "see" that.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 6:29pm
Sorry - the use of the term "manipulate" just rubs me the wrong way because it ascribes some sort of improper motive to the child. I just don't think that's the case (at least with infants and very young children); therefore, I think it can be counterproductive to view their actions as manipulative. If a parent assumes that her child is trying to manipulate her, it seems to me that she is more likely to be angry or frustrated with him and less likely to try to find a solution to the problem that works for everyone. I'm not saying that's what you were doing ~ just trying to explain why I don't care for the use of that word in this context.

Also, I don't think that CIO is "evil" or "abusive" in and of itself, although it can be abusive if taken to extremes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 6:31pm
My immediate family is here visiting and my children have been hanging out with their aunts and uncles grandparents and cousins. I thought id come on line...and it kinda became addictive.

Simply said...I wanted to reply.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 6:34pm
Why would you say that? I did not clarify this. you just want to think Iam.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 6:40pm
But the creepy thing is your still talking about me...so If my thoughts were consumed by you i would have responded to you in the first place it did'nt happen that way you acknowledged me not what i said.

Now my thoughts are not consumed by you...and your's are problably not consumbed by mine...but you do like to follow me around this board. And S8h$ like that is scary.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 6:48pm
Thats because everyone is following me and talking to me, now if we were debating WOH/SAH it would not be so demanding of my time, but we are not, we are debating what you think of me, what i have done, what iam doing and why...even who "IAM EXACTLY" LOL that one cracks me up the most~


Anyhoo i dont understand you last comment. Would you care to clarify?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 6:53pm
but you have already claimed it was all over your screen. It cannot be both places.

Please make up your mind and get back to us when you can keep your story straight for two posts in a row.

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