How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 7:53pm
I cant find my post to your about your opinion of women who do not try to breast feed to be gross. I thought i posted it and I may have but, i cant find it so Im gonna say it agian. To you Im gorss b/c I breast feed my first child for 2 weeks and hated it. My boobs are big and they got huge and that is GROSS. We did not enjoy B?F my dh works long hours so I may sah, he wanted to be a part of preparing and feeding our babies. The natural thing for me is to make bottles I love them they were colorful and exciting for al of us.

Now one of my closets friends who has 4 children breast feed all of em and is still b/f her 3 and a half yr old and i admire her for that...so I quess to you my parenting choices are gross...okay!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 7:56pm
True, i dont feel the need to ignore you yet. If i was scared of you, Id been gone long ago....it is YOUR behavior that is scary.


Edited 8/29/2003 8:00:35 PM ET by silverunity
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 7:58pm
well it did not tossle my hair so i guess it did not go over my head.~

edit my post for savcal.


Edited 8/29/2003 8:09:20 PM ET by silverunity

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 8:18pm
Thanks for the suggestion! And I know what you mean about missing it when it's gone. Although being her only source of nutrition has been kinda tough at times, I really love the time I get to spend with her : )
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 9:12pm
Beautifully stated! I couldn't agree more! C
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 9:14pm
Here's a hint: everything is not literal.

Unless you think there really *is* a store called StereotypesRUs?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 9:20pm
Given all the "evidence" to the contrary you spout, I do wonder how my SAHM ever managed to raise to raise two confident, successful daughters, one of whom has an unbelievable career as both a TV news anchor AND director of promotions for her station (oh, and she has wanted to be a morning news anchor since she was 7 and wrote Joan Lunden a letter warning her to watch out for her job--lol) while serving on the boards of a boatload of non-profits and then there is me, the SAHM--who found true career happiness home with her son.

Two very different lives (although we both "work" long hours, LOL), but we're both very happy and wouldn't trade places with the other for anything.

Makes me want to go "pffffttt..." to all the studies you quote.

C

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 9:22pm
I agree Hollie! I graduated from a women's university with the attitude that career-wise, I could do anything. I CHOOSE to stay home with my son, my sister chooses to work (graduated from the same university).

I thought the point of women's lib and all that was to give us CHOICES?

C

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 9:25pm
<>

Hmmm...that's interesting, since just two posts ago I said this:

"I know what the word "unity" means. I have no idea what it means to YOU, nor have I claimed to." - a statement which you agreed with. Honestly, if you're going to play this game, you might want to go back and edit your previous posts so you don't get caught flat-footed again.

<< find it so frustrating that you point out your feelings of my behavior to be childish,trollish,confusing,stereotypical when to me that would be what you have displayed.>>

I think you have me confused with someone else. I've only said your posts are confusing.

<>

Excellent advice. Perhaps you should follow it? Sorry, but you've already lost all credibility in the "let's not get personal" department.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 9:26pm
Perhaps I'm just a dumb SAHM, but I never doubted that I could balance family and career, just b/c my mom SAH, I just chose not to. I saw how much my mom liked being home with us and knew that was what I wanted.

I don't think you're giving our daughters credit where credit is due, CLW...C

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