How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 9:27pm
Why? C
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 9:31pm
Depends on how you define career. While I've stopped teaching, I do a great deal of volunteer work w/a women's leadership organization right now. That's my "other" career, besides motherhood. I've definitely shown DS that I can juggle both, AND I hope he learns from my example that it is important to give back to non-profits/causes that are important to us.

C

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 9:32pm
BUT, you keep ASSuming that a mother working would greatly improve SES, which isn't always the case. Given my age, my career choice, and DH's income, my working would NOT increase our SES enough for me to choose WOH over being with my son all day. Period.

C

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 9:39pm
Why, b/c she WOH? So she's a better role model? I don't think so. Different, but not "better."

C

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 9:43pm
Yup, my mom's PODIATRIST is definitely outranking me...clipping toenails...whew! That's challenging!

Let's see, clipping toenails...raising the next generation of America's leaders...hmmmm...

You make me laugh, CLW. You are truly a militant WOHM.

C

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 9:44pm
They also have the benefit of daycare--do they not? Some of us prefer to SAH and forgo the paycheck to forgo the daycare...

C

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 10:20pm
No, it's not... otherwise you would stop responding.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 11:19pm
I explained more in a separate post, but I'll just say here in case you didn't see it, I didn't mean it in the "malicious motive" type of way. In fact, I only used the word manipulate since the person I was responding to considered a parent implementing feeding and sleeping schedules as manipulation. IRL I probably would never come up with that word.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 11:24pm
I would hope not. I may think my way is the right way for my family, but that doesn't mean I am so conceited to think it is the right way for everybody.
Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 11:35pm
Although I don't agree with CLW that doctors (or anyone for that matter) contribute more to society than anyone else (like a SAHM) just as a function of their profession, I also think that podiatrists do just a bit more than toenail clipping.

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