How does this relate to the debate?
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| Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm |
Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.
I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...
There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.
There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.
Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new
Hollie

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The fact is, early self-weaning is rare. It' happens, but it's NOT the norm; it's completely true to claim that "almost all" babies who self-wean early do so for reasons other than no longer needing the nutrition nursing provides.
If a plane comes from Chicago and lands in Baltimore, and fuel spills onto the tarmac at BWI, a cleaning crew is not required at O'Hare.
Similarly, if, any of my dribble *had* landed on your screen (and I'm not saying it did; you are), *I* would not require the tissue.
As before, when you can figure out what it is you're actually trying to say, and can express the idea consistently two posts in a row, get back to us.
Say that a child is an unusually brilliant (profoundly gifted) child who is not at all well served by the available schools and one parent stays at home in order to homeschool that child. If that child were left in the available school systems, he/she might well drop up and get fed up with the whole thing...thus wasting a potentially brilliant career in a potentially society serving aspect. By one parent being willing to stay at home to deal with that child and hopefully get him/her to the point where instead of dropping out of society in disgust he/she actually grows up to be a well-adjusted adult who uses his/her talents in a positive way for society, that parent could be said to have positively contributed to society by the act of SAH. That is why statistics cannot be applied to the individual and why, for individual families, one SAHP may well be contributing a lot to society down the road. Just a hypothetical, mind you, but absolutely not beyond the realm of possibility....
Another rather less unlikely scenario is the SAHP who basically supports the school system. This is sadly increasingly the situation in CA, where the only way that children (elementary school age 5-11) get any supervision during lunch or recess is through parent volunteers. SAHPs volunteering their time to run the libraries, act as teachers aids, help out in the administration etc. are the only way that schools are even able to provide many of what used to be considered basic services. As far as I am concerned, those parents putting in 20+ hours a week at schools are essential unpaid WOHP who are contributing a lot to society...they are contributing as much as teachers are.
laura
eileen
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