How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 1:02am
But it's not a generalization, because it allows for the rare child who does self-wean at an early age. "Almost all" allows for that.

The fact is, early self-weaning is rare. It' happens, but it's NOT the norm; it's completely true to claim that "almost all" babies who self-wean early do so for reasons other than no longer needing the nutrition nursing provides.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 1:09am
Yet again, you have missed the concept of "cannot be in two places at the same time."

If a plane comes from Chicago and lands in Baltimore, and fuel spills onto the tarmac at BWI, a cleaning crew is not required at O'Hare.

Similarly, if, any of my dribble *had* landed on your screen (and I'm not saying it did; you are), *I* would not require the tissue.

As before, when you can figure out what it is you're actually trying to say, and can express the idea consistently two posts in a row, get back to us.

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 6:13am
LOL, Obvious reasons. The most simple being that a doctor serves society while a SAHM serves her own family and the simple fact that being a doctor requires a heck of a lot of education that one has to be smart enough to get through. Yes, IMO, being a doctor is a higher career than being a SAHM. It's higher than being an engineer too.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 6:15am
Um, no I'm not assuming that a mother working increases SES. I'm assuming, based on the census data out there, that moms who ARE working ARE improving their family's SES. The data that is out there only applies to moms who are currently working. I never said it applies to SAHM's if they were to become WM's today. I am stating what WM's ARE currently doing. WM's ARE at this time positively impacting their family's SES. To the tune of something like an average of $17,000 a year. THAT is a good thing.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 6:18am
Ok, explain how a SAHM contributes the same to society as say a surgeon. IMO the two are on two totally different levels. The doctor is impacting and benefitting many many people. The doctor contributes to a tax base that also benefits many many people. The doctor can have kids while being a doctor and can raise kids while being a doctor so what does the SAHM contribute besides her kids to the future just as the doctor does?
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 6:19am
UGH. Go take a class in statistics. Then maybe you'll understand the nature of research data.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 6:20am
What's wrong with a combination of parent care and dc? Good dc can be beneficial to children.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 6:46am
For the record, I more or less tend to agree with you on this point, but I can give a hypothetical....

Say that a child is an unusually brilliant (profoundly gifted) child who is not at all well served by the available schools and one parent stays at home in order to homeschool that child. If that child were left in the available school systems, he/she might well drop up and get fed up with the whole thing...thus wasting a potentially brilliant career in a potentially society serving aspect. By one parent being willing to stay at home to deal with that child and hopefully get him/her to the point where instead of dropping out of society in disgust he/she actually grows up to be a well-adjusted adult who uses his/her talents in a positive way for society, that parent could be said to have positively contributed to society by the act of SAH. That is why statistics cannot be applied to the individual and why, for individual families, one SAHP may well be contributing a lot to society down the road. Just a hypothetical, mind you, but absolutely not beyond the realm of possibility....

Another rather less unlikely scenario is the SAHP who basically supports the school system. This is sadly increasingly the situation in CA, where the only way that children (elementary school age 5-11) get any supervision during lunch or recess is through parent volunteers. SAHPs volunteering their time to run the libraries, act as teachers aids, help out in the administration etc. are the only way that schools are even able to provide many of what used to be considered basic services. As far as I am concerned, those parents putting in 20+ hours a week at schools are essential unpaid WOHP who are contributing a lot to society...they are contributing as much as teachers are.

laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 7:46am
Why, oh why can't I just wait for you to come on-line and just tag along? Great post!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 8:36am
Would it make it easier if i give you a schedule of my "planned" posting times? LOL!

eileen

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