How does this relate to the debate?
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| Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm |
Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.
I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...
There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.
There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.
Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new
Hollie

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tee-hee.....im sitting here giggling to myself, as i put that "gross" comment in there to stir up a few posters. i had a *really* stressful day yesterday(worse than ive had in years) and felt like slamming something. i guess i got the reaction i was looking for.
talk about bait. "gross" is *big bait*. i will try to behave myself this weekend. LOL
Some days I wonder if she'll ever develop empathy. Then there's her sister who has enough empathy for the both of them. Go figure. Same parents, same household, two totally different kids. So much for the idea that us parents actually have anything to do with how our kids turn out, lol. I'm convinced that all we really do is play into our kids strengths and weaknesses and emphasize them. The underlying traits are theirs. Fortuantely my dd was better served by being in dc and having to, gasp, WAIT her turn from an early age. Not that it helped that much but it would have been 10 times worse if she hadn't.
I'm pretty hard on her now because I know she has to overcome this before she's an adult. She has an especially hard time dealing with her sister. My little one is the kid that everyone just loves. She's smarter, nicer and prettier than her sister and big sis is MIGHTY jealous. It's going to get really bad if dd#2 tests out gifted and we have to send her to a private school for gifted children. (I'm having her tested some time this year to determine where she'll go to school next year). BUT, she's just going to have to learn to deal with the fact that some people are smarter, prettier and better liked than others. Fortunately, my little one has the type of personality where none of this goes to her head. Though she does tell me she's smarter than I am, lol. She probably is.
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It's not usually a matter of miserable but rich. like marz2 posted, why can't you like a perfectly well paying job, even if you don't love it?
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In that way SAH would be easier. I couldn't afford to be a zombie when my kids were too young to sleep through the night. I'm still awakened a couple times a night, and I'm used to it, but I hate it.
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