How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 4:10pm
Ok I'll go through it all again, maybe this will be all clear.

ME :(to momofhk) >> That's incredibly insulting to say that others don't consider their children when making their parenting decisions, just because they don't do it YOUR way. I'm wondering, how exactly do you know that your way is the right way? Besides the fact that you think so. Because really, in the scheme of things, your opinion means nothing.<<

YOU : >>Nothing to who? I think we all think our way is the right way until we learn otherwise<<

ME : >>I would hope not. I may think my way is the right way for my family, but that doesn't mean I am so conceited to think it is the right way for everybody<<

YOU : >>So what are you saying? I also think my decisions are right for my family but I would never think it the right way for every one that is plain silly. <<

ME : >>You really need to start reading the posts you are responding to. I know it is silly, but you were disputing me first and I was explaining. You do know that if you click the "in response to" link you can see what post that person is responding to?<<

YOU : >>Iam not disputing you I was asking you questions. Why you think certain things and trying to fiqure out what you are saying. <<

I was trying to point out that when you asked "so what are you saying" you were asking a dumb question because what I was saying was in response to your question in the first place.. I asked momofhk what made her way always the right way, and then when you asked why her way wouldn't be the right way, i replied that she thinks her way is the right way for everyone. You agreed, but acting like you never asked me a question in the first place. Which is why I said you should look at what the person was reposnding to before you reply.


Avatar for akpennington
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 4:24pm
I found it wasn't so "bad" with #1, but when #2 and #3 came along, it didn't make much difference. I had to get up and moving just the same. (and earlier than dh in our case)
Avatar for akpennington
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 4:30pm
"a) You don't necessarily have to jump out of bed, shower and get your act together and leave the house,and be thinking early in the am. A SAHM can shuffle around in their p'j's and mumble incoherently for a few hours."

This was the case when our first was born. When number two and three came around, that was no longer an option. Depends on the circumstances, I suppose.

"b) They don't necessarily have to make any intelligent, precise, costly decisions while operating on reduced brain power. Maybe the toughest decision a SAHM might have to make any particular day is what to make for dinner."

LOL I agree for the most part. But a SAHM still has to care for her chidren. While not the same, I'd be hard pressed to leave my children, newborn especially, with a barely functioning caregiver.

"c) If tuly exhausted, a SAHM can nap when her children do, a woh mom cannot."

This totally depends on the circumstance, age of and number of children.

"By the way, I SAH and WOH a few days a week when I was sleep deprived with young children, trust me, working was killer on a few hours of sleep, the days I stayed home were a godsend. The babies didn't notice if I couldn't multiply or form a compound sentence, let alone read binary code."

I believe it. My comment/question was more geared toward the downsides of being physically sleep deprived.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 4:42pm
I realize that but i dont believe it to be fact. i know you were not saying formula is bad or that you are harming a child if formula feed, what Iam saying is that the facts you presented to me are not true for my children or all children and i dont believe that breast milk is always the best for all child.


Edited 8/30/2003 7:34:21 PM ET by silverunity
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 4:45pm
I never said it was better for your child. I said if you put formula and breast milk in a test tube next to eachother and tested them, breast milk has a nutritionally better formulation than formula. That doesn't mean its the better choice for everyone, but you can't "Not believe" that breast milk is a better substance because it is a fact, like grass is green.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 4:45pm
Why is it a dumb question Iam asking you why you think her opinion means nothing, Im asking you why you woud say the things you say to me when I have explained to you that i do not think my way is best for all.

clear enough though....we simply misundersttod each other.

I still dont get why her opinion means nothing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 4:51pm
I gave you the defintion of slander..malicious false statment's.

No matter if it was rhetorical or it was not I answered your question in fact of my blue sky in my world.

I dont need your approval of my posts, perhaps you are capable of leaving me alone with this bitter discourse and debate my opinions not who Iam what you think iam and how I type or what Iam capable of. Iam not looking for your approval, actually quite the contrary.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 4:56pm
I dont know if I agree with you that breast milk is nutritionally better if tested next to each other. I think sometime formual can be the better nutrition for a child. i realize you are not talking about my children. we are talking about in general.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 5:03pm
Oh nevermind, you seem to have had a relapse.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 5:05pm
AARRGGGG!!1 Because SHE said her way was the right way for everyone, I was trying to ask her what made HER opinion the right one for everyone in the whole world!

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