How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 1:41pm
Where's the APPLAUSE icon?
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 1:41pm
That's not particularly flexible in the professional world. Many professional jobs require you to go from place to place so being in and out of the office is a normal occurance. Dh's job is the same way but his commute is too long to make it to the school and back in a reasonable amount of time so he doesn't enjoy the flexibility I do. My flexiblity arises from my short commute.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 1:42pm
Not many. I've been home for 16 years but I've also earned a degree in that time and am about to go back for a masters. I originally planned to go back to work when my kids were in middle school, but kids are even busier as they get older and we don't have the luxury of any help from family members, which is one of the reasons we decided to have someone stay home in the first place. Next year my youngest will be in high school and at that time I plan to return to the work force.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 1:43pm
My suggestion is to do what I did. Get an education so you can have a career. Used to have such jobs. Got sick of it. Got educated. Now I don't.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 1:44pm
Um, where did I say that both of us had that luxury? Dh is not close enough to home to enjoy the flexiblity I do. I'm aware that it's hard to work it out for both parents but it's workable for many for one.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 1:45pm
Well, if we don't say anything, maybe no one will notice. Shhhhhhhhh. :)
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 1:46pm
But you don't need EVERY mom to stay in the work force to pull it off. That's where your argument falls apart.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 1:47pm
Nope .. you put the tone there ... we just pull it out
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 1:47pm
One of the reasons I didn't break my employment is the vacation schedule, lol. I had 135 days off per year when dd#1 was born. I have 150 days off per year now. IMO, that's plenty of time off. So much that I'm going to have trouble taking it all before years end.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 1:48pm
No, whining and complaining about having to do something is NOT the nature of doing what has to be done even when you don't like it. It's the nature of whining and complaining, which IMO is NOT good behavior to model.

Now, doing what has to be done even when you don't like it, and doing it with grace and good humor - THAT is good behavior to model.

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