How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 1:57pm
Please don't have side conversations with other posters about me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 1:58pm
I'll have to tell my boss (who is now on an extended break) that professional women just can't do that. Maybe she'll have to give up being a scientist to become a laborer. Oh, and this is her second extended break...

Laura

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 1:58pm
YES, I looked for a dcp who has higher qualifions than myself. Care to tell me why I should have looked for one who had less qualifications????
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 1:59pm
Then they choose not to handle it. The end result is the same.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 2:00pm
ITA! Our working status has nothing to do with showing our kids they come first.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 2:00pm
I consider home ownership a basic. You couldn't buy a house within an hour's drive of DC on a total household income of 30K. And I don't consider having to move out to the outer suburbs to be able to afford a house "living" on 30K. Nor do I consider it liveable if you can't live in the place you'd like because you don't make enough money.

My brother and his wife live on less than 30K a year, and I see how almost impossibly hard their lives are. No, I don't wish that on my children. Economizing? Sure. Having to scrounge change at the end of the month to buy bread and milk, and having to decide between paying the water bill and the electric bill? No thanks.

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Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 2:02pm
ROTFLMAO!! NOPE, I'm the person out working and keeping the door open for you and your dd's should you decide to return to the work force or she decide to have a career!!!!! We WM's are responsible for the fact you have a choice. If it weren't for us, we'd go back to the 1950's when women had no choice!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 2:04pm
What if your boys don't want to live in DC?

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I can understand that. And in your locale, $30K would put you in that situation. But your boys may fall in love with a county girl and move to podunk Kansas or NEbraska and be a schoolteacher at $30K a year and have a beautiful life with a 4bd farmhouse on 5 acres and raise horses.

But, that wouldn't be enough for you ... sigh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 2:08pm
They certainly might.

But if they can't make more than 30K they can't stay in DC (unless they marry a rich woman.....)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 2:10pm
I'm with you! I worked for years until our kids arrived, paying off bills so I could stay home, all through a difficult pregnancy while the other prima donna mothers to be in my office called in sick for every little ache and pain. My husband makes his large salary due to different choices we BOTH made at various times. I rode with him years ago in a piece of crap car when neither of us had a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. We both worked to get us where we are today and we EARNED every penny, including ME.


Edited 8/23/2003 3:13:40 PM ET by lexus001

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