How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 2:14pm
i get your point but honestly i doubt we will ever go back to the 1950's.

Oh yes, you cindy are not responsible for my choice, please dont flatter yourself it really just makes you look bad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 2:17pm
Oh, come on! I really don't think that anyone here would think that is honorable. You're getting a little off the original topic now, aren't you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 2:19pm
The point is, her friends do actually live that way, so they themselves must not find it dishonorable to do so.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 2:22pm
They sure are! Not the least of which are driving kids with WP to activities and other functions because their mom and dad aren't around. Or picking up the slack at the schools that WP who aren't around don't contribute to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 2:26pm
Excuse me? No one's picking up my slack. I contribute both time and money to my son's preschool (other one is too little for school). Nobody whom I don't pay is driving either of my kids anywhere. So please don't assume just because we have a salary, we aren't carrying our fair share.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 2:33pm
I have personally found it interesting that in every community we have lived in, the kids who remain honor roll students in middle and high school are the ones with the parents greatly involved with the schools, who are generally SAHMs. It's so prevalent that its a standing joke around here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 2:45pm
"when you breed?". Let me guess, all this and you don't even HAVE kids??????
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2001
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 2:52pm
When I interview parents and they roll their eyes over my weekly tuition I break it down for them ... say they need 45 hours of care for one child. My weekly fee is $135.00. Divide that $135 by 45 hours ... $3 an hour. Minimum wage is way more than that. And $6.00 an hour for two siblings attending for 45 hours a week is probably still affordable for both wohp. Most of my parents pay jointly for child care ... did you mean it would be your responsibility to pay for the child care from your own weekly income and that would be too expensive?

Linda

 

Linda - wife, mother, grandmum                     &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 3:04pm
Really! And YOUR experience with this is what? I hear my high schooler parroting a whole LOT of what I've been telling her through the years lately. You know, your generalizations are a joke. My daughter is a junior in high school, has gotten straight A's since 4th grade, and wants to be a forensic pathologist. Her best friend, with the WM, has no plans for college and just wants her mom to get her a clerical job in the insurance company that she works for.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 3:05pm
What makes you so certain they did not suffer, that is, children of the past? Is it because civilization still exists? What data do you have that they did not suffer or have a disadvantage compared to children who had the attention that they do nowadays? You said that is all the proof you need, so what's your proof?

IQ's have been going up in the last 50 or so years after the machine revolution. Perhaps moms having more time to spend has something to do with that. So, how high of an IQ is "enough"? Don't you want your kids to develop to the best of their ability?

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