How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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Avatar for akpennington
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 3:46pm
So, if your kids decide they want to move far away where 30k is perfectly livable, it'll be okay, right?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 4:06pm
That is not what iam saying. To respond to your curiosity concerning my view on what is my responsibility as my childs sole care provider, we do not pay anyone for care we preform the responsibility ourselves. Like I said, if i was to go back to work i would pay out for quality childcare for my family so i stay home and take on the responsibility of my child care myself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 4:37pm
Another possibility would be for flexibility to be guaranteed for those people who don't have "careers", just jobs. Someone has got to do the less fun stuff in the world and without people being willing to do that work, the professionals wouldn't get very far in their careers. Rather than turn up my nose at mechanics, garbage collectors, plumbers, electricians, cleaners, store clerks etc. and suggest that they should "better themselves through education" like I did in order to deserve the flexibility that I have, I would prefer them to have respected for the contributions they make to society. It would make a lot more sense to suggest better working conditions across the board than to expect everyone to become a "professional".


Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 5:07pm
Amen!! i wish i had that much sense when i was deciding upon college and majors. i looooove arts and thought that was not a viable choice because i "wouldnt make money doing that!". after i "grew up" and figured things out(and had three children) i realized what is really important in life, and it aint math and science! college *is* so much more than a prerequisite for a job. there is so much to choose from and so much opportunity, how can anyone even see it as "training for a job". yes it is a facilitator, but not only such.

good post!!

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 5:29pm
Evolution.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 5:31pm
LOL, Yes she did!! She said "What kind of role model would a mom who refuses to work when it's in her family's best interest she work be?? "

THAT is what I posted in response to!! You, yourself included it in your quote.

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 5:32pm
As long as you do what needs to be done, who cares if you complain? What matters is the job get done. Not that you put on an air of being happy with the situation.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 5:33pm
We will if women don't stay in the work force. You ahve those of us who do to thank for the fact you even have a choice.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 5:35pm
I considered this one not worth answering because any life situation can at times take precident over my children or anything else at the moment. This is not exclusive territory of WM's. When my father had his stroke and needed help, I was there for him and my kids were in dc 50+ hours a week. Such is life.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 5:38pm
Nope.

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