How does this relate to the debate?
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| Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm |
Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.
I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...
There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.
There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.
Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new
Hollie

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I don't meet your qualifications of being a neurosurgeon or other highly paid profession, yet I have always worked and always shall work and I have extremely marketable skills.
And you still look on my income and my profession as barely above that of a homeless derelict.
as for helping at the school, i wouldn't do that as a sahm anyway -- just not my cup of tea. Of course that doesn't mean that i'm not "contributing" to the school in other ways.
eileen
Nor do I remember you helping to deliver the traveling golf team and their equipment to matches, and I know I would have, considering the fun I had finding room for 6 sets of clubs in the trunk of my Chevy Cavalier.
I don't remember you volunteering as Den Mother for Cub Scouts, when it was me, my WOH ex and my WOH un-married, childless coworker keeping the den running for two years.
I don't remember the SAH's volunteering to help me sew the 150+ choir robes (over 3 years' time and in 3 separate schools) in the evenings during the week, nor stuffing envelopes for the front office, nor compiling project folders for teachers my son didn't even have.
I DO, however, remember more than one SAH griping and whining about how WOH "never lift a finger to help", as if we are all obligated to only volunteer for the pet projects that SAHMs favor to be considered "pulling our weight."
It seems those determined to dismiss WOHMs as slackers forget there are literally millions of volunteer activities that are worthy of our time and efforts and only a couple of them occur at school.
I have no doubt that that will continue as they enter into high school. There's no reason to think it wouldn't.
eileen
Now you know why so many of us WOHMs hate the P portion of the PTA.
Hmmm, however did i manage it in jr. high and high school?? I also had a WOHM.
UGH.
eileen
Would you like me to tell you about the sahm that i know (who only just started woh a few years ago cleaning houses)? Her oldest is not going to college nor trade school and was working at Walmart. I don't know if her son (going into 7th grade) has any serious considerations about going to college. I DO know that MY kids absolutely understand that they need some type of formal education beyond high school - and that they should have dreams to reach for. My son is already trying to decide which position he should try out for on the UCONN Huskies, LOL!
Again, the example you raised has NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with work status -- and EVERYTHING to do with the way in which she PARENTED. Completely and totally unrelated things.
eileen
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