How does this relate to the debate?
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| Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm |
Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.
I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...
There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.
There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.
Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new
Hollie

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Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14
<<<>>> not really. as good, yes, but better? actually, that would be just icing on the cake.
eileen
Of course, from your perspective, if the only time that counts is mom time, then no, minutes per day would not work for you. However, i like the fact that my kids play with their friends, play with each other, read books, play basketball in the driveway, do their sports activities, religious school, etc. I find that much more balanced than only spending time with MOM. Luckily at almost 12 years old, my ds has his OWN playmates as does his 7.5 year old sister and they have plenty of things that they like to do without me. However, before you say it, that doesn't mean that they don't like to do things with me, or that at times i'm not the playmate....I'm MOM.
So, i'll stand as having corrected myself. First, she did say that there are times that she spends minutes per day with her family, but i have a strong feeling that she's not talking about all the HOURS that occur on a basis that may not be daily - you know, like those family activities that they might do or go to on a Sat. or Sun. afternoon. Second,it's only a problem if the only time that counts is Mom time. In my house it's not -- as i suspect that it would be the same in her (CLW) home.
BTW, if i've cremated this in any way i'll be back tomorrow (aren't you the lucky one, LOL!) to clarify. It's just about pumpkin time here.
eileen
Why are you comparing the motives of *most* SAHMs to the motives of only *some* WOHMs?
what's noble about THAT?
Whining and complaining is NOT rising to the occasion because it drags everyone around the whiner down. Doing what needs to be done does not include making everyone miserable in the process.
More flexible at times, yes. But you're wrong if you think SAHMs don't also have schedules, time limits, and obligations. They might just be different ones.
I don't think I said anything was easier or harder. All those different aspects have their positive sides and their negative sides.
One positive side of being a WOH and using someone else to assist you during the day so you CAN WOH is not having to juggle EVERYTHING by yourself.
One of the positives of being at home (be it working or eating bon-bons ;o) is not having to juggle your own schedule plus everyone elses.
IMO, there is no such thing as a mom who "does it all" when they WOH because they do get help from another person for 40+ or - hours a week. A WOH does not have the corner market on handling life. Just like there is no such thing as a SAH/WAH who "does it all" because they aren't earning money or juggling the many different schedules.
And....
If you think a SAH simply can't handle all that juggling...then the flip side can be said about a WOH. Obviously, they can't handle their kids...otherwise, they would be physically with them instead of working....(not that I believe that, but I also don't believe what you are saying either).
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