How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 9:51am
Here's a pin to help deflate that overly large ego of yours.

Honestly, then you helped set us women folk back when you became a SAH years ago. You have some time to make up now don't you, not to mention the harm you caused for all woman-kind.

BTW--I must grovel my thank you for keeping the option door wide open for me, my girls and all future misty generations. We sincerely appreciate it.

(snork)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 9:55am
Nah, the nature of just doing what needs to be done is having the grace to keep the whining and complaining to yourself.

To *me*...that would be rising to the occasion.

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 9:58am
Yes, I do.

One of my earliest memories is standing in the back yard at about 2:00 a.m. looking at a comet. I was about 4. My parents also let me stay up (or got me up) for things like new year's eve or snow flurries (snow is a BIG deal where I live). Why is letting a child stay up late occasionally for a special event bizarre?

As for keeping a journal, since when did that become weird?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 10:01am
roflmao ... you always crack me up misty!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 10:09am
I can't get the "never let your kids stay up late not even for a special thing" concept either. We recently took the kids to my dept's yearly Eurovision song contest party held at my boss's house (kids were specifically listed on the invitation, for those who are wondering). Dd crashed out about 10pm, but ds stayed wide awake through to the end at midnight and it has sparked a revolution for him with music. Now he is obsessed with music, wants to join the school chorus and is begging for piano lessons. Pretty amazing what an occasional lapse in bedtime rules and some of the world's most excrutiatingly bad pop music can inspire :-).

As for journals...isn't journaling all the rage in the U.S. this days?


Laura

Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 10:31am
I would contend that craftsmen and artisans DO add something to the world at large. . .
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 10:38am
She said childCARE.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 10:39am
You make some great points.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 10:48am
Well that is probably why I didn't address the OP to you. I was replying to a specific statement by a specific person, I was not accusing WOHMs across the world for hiring out all parenting. You of all people by now should know that I don't have a beef with WOHMs, because I think both are valid choices and I've done both. That doesn't mean I can't question when one person answers "I'd pay someone to do it" 5 times. It just seemed odd to me, which is why I was questioning without accusing. Then again, as I've said before, you try to find attack and insult where there is none.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 10:52am
That's not really what I meant (I'm going to have to stop posting in the middle of the night! lol). I was trying to address the question about whether one of the parents is expected to pay 100% of the daycare, or if it was split between the parents.

When I worked, the way we always did it was any and all childcare was paid from my check, as I was the parent making the least amount of money. So, while our money was combined, we were always mindful of what we were paying out in daycare and taxes and whatever other expenses we had due to me working.

I guess the OP just struck me as a slam that only MOM was expected to pay for childcare, and while I'm sure that is the case in some marriages, I think most just take it out of the secondary income...at least that is my experience between my friends and myself.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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