How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 10:55am
That's your personal opinion and you're welcome to it. We are perfectly comfortable with our financial situation. Just because you wouldn't be (well.. you wouldn't be comfortable with 99% of the country's financial situation) doesn't really mean much. As to your earlier post about my earning potential.. it really wouldn't make much of an effect. If I had the potential to earn a lot more , then I would work and my dh would stay home. It doesn't change my convictions or our needs as a family.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 10:57am
Unable to physically do both at the same time. Or having a lot of stress if one were to do both.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 10:58am
Why in the world is CLARIFICATION and EXPLANATION becoming "attacks" and "insults"??? I'm not sure WHAT attacks and insults you think i'm seeing because those were the furthest things from my mind. I just gave well-thought out reasoned responses as to WHY some of those things would be hired out -- and let you know that while i can imagine there are affluent families in the district that i work in that can hire out all these things...the VAST majority of wohps can't AND don't.

That's ALL i was doing.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 11:04am
You know what I meant! There are cases on this earth where people with non-disabled or medically fragile children where WOH is the worse choice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 11:12am
Isn't that what I just said? The problem here is you insist that *I* have enough time if I were to WOH. And that for me, more time is just more. It's not. Which I was I said for you maybe it is, but for me it's not.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 11:15am
The end result is the same yes, but when someone chooses to do something it's not an insult. It's incredibly offensive to imply that anyone who SAH can't handle being a WOHM, as if she is a lesser person.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 11:36am
LOL. My doctor cancelled my last appointment so she could go see her dd in a play, lol. Since it was routine, I saw her partner instead.

I'm an engineer and being in and out of the office is normal for us. Dh is a computer programmer and for him being in and out of the office is normal. Dh's boss is the business owner and he is in and out of the office all day. Even dh's secretary can step out for lunch or to run an errand if need be. I see the kind of flexiblity I have all over the place. When I think inflexible job, I think hourly worker or something like teacher where you are on a certain schedule and have to find someone to cover your work while you are gone, though with substitutes teachers do have some flexiblity if they know in advance they need off. In my job, dh's job and even my doctors job to a certain extent, some of our work can be done at any time. It simply doesn't matter if I write a report that's due at 10:00 AM at 6:00 PM the night before or at 6:00 AM that morning. I do have to get it done on time but there's no time stamp on when I do it. Dh's job is the same way. Sometimes, he'll go in Sunday night and do all his back up so he can take off Monday morning. My doctor can read lab reports at 6PM or 6AM as well. Unless you're punching a time clock, the kind of flexiblity I have is likely. I'm not an hourly worker so it doesn't matter what time I do some of my work as long as it's done by the deadline.

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 11:38am
Not turning my nose up at skilled laborers. Just suggesting that if someone doesn't like the amount of flexiblity in their job they should do something about it.

I'm having a laugh here thinkning about flexibility for sanitation engineers. I think you'd have to include time to shower and change before going to the school to see that play.

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 11:40am
Because men don't leave the work force like women do and men don't have a history of not working at all after having kids.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 11:41am
LOL. Sorry dear but women staying in the work force hold the door open for the ones who opt out and all of our dd's. If no women worked, women wouldn't have a choice.

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