How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 12:58pm
Well, we are also here to debate, which means that it is a given that people will disagree, contradict and quite often get downright defensive. Words taken out of context is also pretty well par for the course....that is just life in the debate forum, so I would say that one has to either be prepared to defend one's words or to write posts in such a way as to make it nearly impossible to take your words out of context (would would probably take a lot of the fun out of the board).

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 1:07pm
this is my point Hollie and Laura. She presumes a sahm's weakness or inablitiies but her provider is a asset to her. That makes absolutley no sense, whatsoever. i never said that there was anythign wrong with her confidence in her provider, I was responding to a poster who also find CLW and her you can't handle it attitude to be nothing but a huge contradicition. What is pathetic really is her condesending and arrogant attitude.
Avatar for akpennington
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 1:08pm
Wow, I hadn't realized I was spending so much more time interecting with my children than average.

I interact with them completely while I do housework. There's no other way. They don't sit and watch TV by themselves. They're always doing something in addition to watching television, and I'm almost always right with them doing the same thing. I don't sit on the bench and watch them play at the park. I play with them. (in part because it'd be dangerous to not be right next to them) The time I interact with my children is certainly in hours a day.

I hadn't realized we were that abnormal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 1:10pm
I realize we are all here to debate, that is a given i realize people will disagree with me...that makes for a great board. What i find silly is when people take your words out of context or read into things to make their point there is no fun in that.

Avatar for akpennington
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 1:13pm
That may be the average, but that is certainly not true of every mom. I DO interact all day with my kids ("real" interaction). That doesn't make anything better or worse. It doesn't make me a better or worse parent. I'm sure it'll all even out by the time they turn 18. But for now, I DO spend hours a day interacting with my kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 1:14pm
Ok, if I understand this correctly, you mean that it is a contradiction that cindy feels that SAHMs are weak and cannot handle as much as WOHM, but at the same time feels that her provider (who is spending her days taking care of children) is an asset. I can see your point, but I think you might be missing that cindy is specifying someone as a dcp who has trained extensively for the position and therefore has pretty clear qualifications. Cindy (correct me if I am wrong about this please, cindy!) would say that there is no guarantee that a SAHM is qualified to take care of children since she wouldn't likely have an ECE (early childhood education) degree and experience. That is why she can feel that an average SAHM may not be able to handle kids as well as a properly trained dcp. I don't actually think she is contradicting herself, but I would argue that one doesn't necessarily need an ECE to be able to provide high quality care for a child and would take issue at her characterization of SAHMs.


Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 1:15pm
Well, why didn't you just say that the first time? lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 1:15pm
Did you read to whom and what i was responding too befor you took that leap? If you did than you will see you have no reason to presume my opinion. Look befor you leap!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 1:19pm
Your opinion goes both ways. I know sahm's who should have there child in care and I know woh who should pull their children from childcare and i know woh and sah mom who's children are in the right place.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 1:21pm
Another abnormal mom here.

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