How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 3:07pm
If that's true in your case, wonderful. However, its not the norm. That's ok though, I know it hurts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 3:08pm
n/t
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 3:16pm
What the heck are all your posts about?!? Do you really think it is so impossible for WOHP to be involved in the school? I was one of two class parents representatives last year and as such, helped organise the school Christmas bazaar, among other things. I have also contributed to ds's school in other ways over the years. I actually had a harder time contributing time to the school when I was SAH because then I had a baby (later toddler) who I could not drag along to all events and outings. What other slack are WOHPs creating that SAHPs are picking up for them? Why do you find it so very hard to believe that a WOHP is able to take their kids to after school activities? Ds is only 8 but I have already had him do soccer and swimming and music lessons will start this fall.

And all of this is coming across as a VERY personal attack on one person.....hardly proper debating technique, IMHO.


Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 3:32pm
Pray tell what slack do you pick up for WOHMs? I'm really curious ...

Hollie, who has never expected anyone to pick up her slack ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 3:33pm
OK, now that was a violation of TOS. Reported.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 3:37pm
Unless you're personally the one that's been picking up eileen's slack, you can't spout such nonsense as fact.

Hollie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 3:37pm
If you don't like "pickup up slack for WOHMs" then stop.

Can you say doormat?

Hollie

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 3:38pm
I am so glad you did that, Hollie. I had a feeling that there might have been a violation of TOS, but haven't been on the boards long enough to be sure...

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 3:38pm
Hmmm, how do you know its not the norm? Would you like to post a link to something that backs up your statement?

Hollie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 3:46pm
Did you ever think you might be "creating" this slack?

i.e. The first 3-4 months my dd was in school, the PTA was very busy. Fundraising, etc. I went to EVERY meeting. I wrote my name down on volunteer lists no less than 3 times. I told the volunteer coordinator (a SAHM) and the president (another SAHM) that I was available to do a myriad of things. They had my work number, my home number and my pager number.

How many times did I help them out? None. You know why? I NEVER RECEIVED A CALL. Not once did they call to ask me to volunteer for anything. They were doing it all themselves and 99% of them were SAHMs. They didn't even give me a chance to help.

3-4 months into the school year a new president took office. I told her, as I had told the other one, to call for things. She did. And I did everything that was asked.

In the first instance, one might look and say "We SAHMs are picking up the slack left by WOHMs." But they created that slack. They created a situation where WOHMs *couldn't* help by never asking them to help. NEver informing them of what tasks needed to be done.

Hmmm, wonder if you might be guilty of some of that?

Hollie

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