How does this relate to the debate?
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| Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm |
Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.
I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...
There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.
There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.
Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new
Hollie

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And all of this is coming across as a VERY personal attack on one person.....hardly proper debating technique, IMHO.
Laura
Hollie, who has never expected anyone to pick up her slack ...
Hollie
Can you say doormat?
Hollie
Laura
Hollie
i.e. The first 3-4 months my dd was in school, the PTA was very busy. Fundraising, etc. I went to EVERY meeting. I wrote my name down on volunteer lists no less than 3 times. I told the volunteer coordinator (a SAHM) and the president (another SAHM) that I was available to do a myriad of things. They had my work number, my home number and my pager number.
How many times did I help them out? None. You know why? I NEVER RECEIVED A CALL. Not once did they call to ask me to volunteer for anything. They were doing it all themselves and 99% of them were SAHMs. They didn't even give me a chance to help.
3-4 months into the school year a new president took office. I told her, as I had told the other one, to call for things. She did. And I did everything that was asked.
In the first instance, one might look and say "We SAHMs are picking up the slack left by WOHMs." But they created that slack. They created a situation where WOHMs *couldn't* help by never asking them to help. NEver informing them of what tasks needed to be done.
Hmmm, wonder if you might be guilty of some of that?
Hollie
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