How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 3:54pm
I take it you also wouldn't support them entering the military. . .You might find reading "Keeping the Faith: A Father-Son Story of Love and the Marine Corps" an interesting read.

Frank Schaeffer recounts his embarrassment when his son John, joining the military (enlisting no less) rather than going to the shi-shi-poo-poo college he'd been expected to attend. It also tells of the immense pride that Mr. Schaeffer has come to feel for his son's committment to the Corps.

Avatar for akpennington
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 3:54pm
That's so far outside my experience that I can't even wrap my brain around it. Unless you know every single working mom and every single at home mom, you're totally unqualified to throw out such a broad (and false) statement.

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 4:37pm
I fail to see what someone else being wrong has to do with you being wrong.

Unless you're trying to say that since other people make bone-headed comments, you can too.

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 4:44pm
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 4:46pm
Facts may speak for themselves, but so far you haven't given any.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 5:00pm
ohhhhh...THANK YOU! I had heard about that book a while back (can't remember where), and wanted to get it to read. But until now I had COMPLETELY forgotten about it. I think I will go buy it to take on vacation with us this week. :)

Did you read it? Did you really enjoy it?

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 5:03pm
I didn't read it, but saw them (Frank and John) in an interview together. . .and I was moved.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 5:04pm
Just a couple of quick clarification questions I have regarding your beliefs, if you don't mind.

1) Do you find that you are "picking up the slack" for your own spouse while he is working and on the weekends while he is catching up on things you do during the week?

2) Would this post of yours (Hardly. We pick up the slack you create during the week when your working and on the weekends when you're catching up on things that we do during the week. School isn't the only place we do it. You just happened to want to pick it out because the truth hurts.) go towards a WOHM with a SAH spouse as well?

3) Specifically, what type of things do you find that you have to pick up the slack on?

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 5:05pm
Come to think about it, I think it was a news article I read....I am really going to have to get that book! :)

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 5:29pm
Doesn't hurt me at all. There's nothing you do to pick up slack I leave because I don't leave slack. I don't spend my weekends "catching up" because there's nothing left undone by Saturday morning.

Name anything you'd like, I'm not leaving slack and you sure as HELL haven't been picking any up.

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