How does this relate to the debate?
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| Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm |
Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.
I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...
There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.
There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.
Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new
Hollie

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Cyndilu, I'm older than you are. Many doors were opened for us by those who went before us. We got to walk through them. Get over yourself.
I know, firsthand, plenty of people that don't work - or don't work in traditional jobs - because of the expense of daycare. They aren't the illertate hicks that this board paints them out to be, they are just average people making an average income and doing the best they can within their own parameters. Quality day care can be prohibitively expensive, so they SAH.
There may be women who SAH (and men too) because of the anxiety and the what if's of sending their children to daycare - while you may not deem that an appropriate reason, it certainly is valid and limiting to them; just as confining and limiting as the people who want to SAH but WOH when they do have the means to SAH but are limited by their fears of layoffs, market dips, diminshed income when they return to the job force.
I also know more than a few women in the unfortunate scenario of male domination that you allow for and am beginning to wonder how uncommon that is.
I think that there is enough familial, religous, societal and economic pressure to have created a group of SAH who want to WOH but can't. I also think that this group would never be uncovered by a survey or research because while it is commendable for a woman to bemoan her place in the workforce in favor of SAH, it certainly is not true of the opposite.
SUS
Does "doing without" make you a better parent or more able to raise children?
SUS
your opinion is not useless, no one's is. However, your post was UNCLEAR and yeah, kind of useless if you have a problem with me referring to my dcp as an asset.
Thanks for the exercise, but in response to your post, it was hardly a bunny hop.
eileen
"of course if that wasn"t what you meant, that's not our fault".
Stop it already, why do you continue to try think you are thinking for me to make your point? This should be cryatal clear eileen, what i said is, it is EXACTLY what i mean just like my first post to this board and i stand by it.
<>
AWWW, it's that "martyr thing again, isn't it?
eileen
Isn't that what you have modeled? If the only thing options that children have are those that are modeled how did we get where we are today?
SUS
SUS
If that is truly what you meant, that is just plain sad. So much for giving someone the benefit of the doubt, huh???
Any wonder someone might park you in the MSAHM camp???
eileen
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