How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 8:26pm
BWWWAAAAA!!!

"Can I just say that if CLW didn't exist, the SAHM on this board would have had to have invented her"




as if we had the time~

unity^

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 8:28pm
well, this does not mean i agree with you but, i can live with it.

;-)

unity^

Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 8:31pm
Well, let's see. I have a degree in Journalism. I currently work part time as an editor for a wire service and previously worked in public relations, both full and part time. I can take a full-time position at my current job when my kids are both in school. I'd also like to look into being a copy editor for a book publisher. Oh no, maybe they'll have a new dictionary and a new set of grammar rules before I go back full time!!! LOL!

Seems to me we just picked different careers. Mine allows me to work part time when my kids are small. But, wait, didn't you SAH for a few years when YOURS were young????

My mom never went to college OR had a job after she was married. And come to think of it, my dad doesn't have a college degree either. I didn't model their behavior. In fact, I don't believe I needed any coaxing to go to college. I'm a productive, upstanding citizen who's smart and can take care of herself. And I didn't need a brilliant daycare provider to get me there. My "uneducated" stay at home mom did a fine job.

Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 8:42pm
I can handle it all. I just prefer to be the one caring for my children. You prefer someone else, someone more "qualified" do it for you. Going to work every day is a cinch.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 8:42pm
Uh oh you said the anti-magic words. "I want to stay home so I can raise my children." WOHMs raise their children. (But I still don't think SAHMs are less of a role model because of their work status)
Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 8:47pm
I agree. But all you show your child each day when you go to a job you hate because you HAVE to is your @$$ as you walk out the door. (Unless, of course, you TELL your child you hate your job and pi$$ and moan about it, which, IMO, is unhealthy.)

How does a child know WHY you go to work? Let's say a 2- or 3-year old.

My kids see me doing things that need to be done every day.

Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 8:49pm
Like I said, you go ahead and rely on that. LOL.

Anyway, I have two sons, so I'm exempt.

Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 8:59pm
Just a gentle reminder that as charlesmama said. . .WOHMs raise their children too, just like SAHMs and WOHDs and WAHDs.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 9:04pm
Unity? Who am I supposed to be united with and why? What would be the basis for this united stance - employment status? A shared ideaology? And if so, what would this be based on?

SUS

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 9:04pm
Yes, I am assuming that even making 30K, she can't afford child care for two pre-school aged children. But I'm happy to be corrected, if necessary.

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