How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 9:06pm
But the odds are I'm in a much better position to absorb the unexpected with two wage earners, enough money to pay the premiums on first rate disability insurance for both of us as well as life insurance, etc., etc.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 9:08pm
WOHM's raise their children who in their right mind would say defferance? Wohm are not responsible for their childs every waking minute as their providers who they pay for are~
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 9:08pm
If it's their choice. I don't want them to have to live where they don't choose to, just because they can't make a living wage in their location of choice.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 9:08pm
No, i don't have a problem with the fact that CLW sees her provider as an ASSET, that's how we've felt about all of ours. I have a problem that you find THAT fact "condescending".

I've not been involved of any of that part of the thread about CLW's provider being better than her (mine were always of the SAME quality as I am as a parent), or sahms not being able to handle jobs...i had NO part in any of that.

ALL i responded to was that ONE statement that you made. JUST THAT ONE. And what's condescending is that you ascribe my posts to agree with the rest of what CLW has to offer -- when i have IN NO WAY contributed to ANY of that part of the debate.

take my post at face value. I ONLY had an issue with that ONE statement. I will not get into a further discussion of CLW's beliefs beyond her provider being an ASSET.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 9:09pm
Maybe my boys will make the same choice. But I'd like them to be able to make enough to be able to have a comfortable standard of living, whether it's in LA or in Oklahoma.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 9:12pm
In other words, it would stress them out too much or be physically impossible to both care for family and WOH. How does that differ from your definition of "can't handle" below?

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Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 9:16pm
But you just said you don't have a flexible job - it's only the proximity to your house which gives you flexibility.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 9:16pm
If you don't have, haven't ever had and don't want a career, you couldn't possibly understand many of my views on the whole SAH work thing. To me, if you have a job, if your spouse could provide all your needs and many of your wants, or you won the lottery, you'd quit without a second thought.

How do you define job and career?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 9:19pm
But my point is you chose not to handle it, because it would have been too difficult to drop the kids off and pick them up at different places, all while working and having a traveling DH.

In your situation, I would have chosen differently, because I value my career, uninterrupted, as well as my young children.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 9:19pm
I told you. why do make me repeat myself?


Edited 8/24/2003 9:58:34 PM ET by silverunity

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