How does this relate to the debate?
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| Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm |
Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.
I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...
There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.
There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.
Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new
Hollie

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Linda
Linda - wife, mother, grandmum &nb
Linda
Linda - wife, mother, grandmum &nb
Linda
Linda - wife, mother, grandmum &nb
Linda
Linda - wife, mother, grandmum &nb
Linda - wife, mother, grandmum &nb
Linda
Linda - wife, mother, grandmum &nb
Hollie
We all have about the same standard of living to all outward appearances, but I know that one of the two couples declared bankruptcy.
Still, I admit to being envious that the SAHM's are taking their kids to the pool and the park while I have to get up at 4:30 to go to work. I know every day for SAHM's isn't all joy and sunshine like in the fabric softener commercials, but it does seem easier. It's just that far as I can tell, I do everthing the other two women do as far as working with my kids on their school work, volunteering at their school when I can, doing things with them just for fun, ferrying them around, plus all the household chores.
Parenting is hard work no matter what else you do, and when you add a job on top of it, I just think it's got be harder than staying home. And I'm talking here about easier for the mom, not necessarily what's best for the kids. I don't think that having a SAHP is inherently better for the kids (my SIL hasn't moved off her couch in five years!) or that WOHM's are inherently neglectful (or inherently better role models.) Parenting is a skill and a job or lack thereof doesn't dictate whether you're good at it. I must say, I'd really love a little SAHM sabbatical, just to see if the grass really is greener. Has anyone tried this and found that they didn't like staying home?
As to the book opening please remember that it is not necessary to be as anal about schedules as you are. Some of us allow our kids to do special things (special to them, not to you) every now and then even if it takes them off schedule for a day or two.
Jenna
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