How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 12:23pm
Well, my kids don't regulate their own sleep. I do it for them.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 12:24pm
Why is that odd?

What constitutes "journaling" vs. scribbling? Expressing a complete sentence, phrase or some multi-word thought? Spelling a word correctly? Using punctuation?


Edited 8/25/2003 12:27:21 PM ET by peteynjoeysmom

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Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 12:29pm
Their loss, not mine. . . self-regulation is an important skill to learn. . .much of our nation's obesity problems stem from lack of exercise and the fact that we've stopped "listening" to our own bodies WRT hunger and satiation after a meal. . .because many of our mothers regulated OUR eating instead of allowing some degree of self-regulation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 12:33pm
Maybe this might help? I will offer the number one reason why I choose to remain at home (even though I do work at home and even occasionally leave the home for work as well--two different "business's).

Stress. I can handle it perfectly fine, in fact...I totally relish the idea of running around like a crazy woman making sure everybody is where they are suppose to be, when they are suppose to be there. However, my dh doesn't like that at all. It makes him stressful, even though he isn't the one taking on the brunt of the running around. Plus, when the kids are sick...we had to rotate who takes off when and that added more stress to him because he doesn't LIKE to take off of work because then that adds stress to his work team. He will do it because that is part of having a dual working house...but he doesn't LIKE to do it. We even run into situations now that he has to leave work for a bit and come take one of our dd's to the doc's because I have a housefull of kids that I am caring for. It doesn't happen often, but I still do work and can't always get away for the last minute, over-night ear infections. He isn't nearly as stressed now because I don't rely on him for the vast majority of the doc visits (although, he does take off for dd1's big visits at CHOPS).

In order for us to eliminate as much stress as possible...I remain at home. I was just offered a very good paying job with the county, wonderful benefits, vacation/sick days, retirement...you name it...it was there. I turned it down. As soon as I mentioned it to dh...I could literally see his blood pressure start to rise as the worrying began about how, what, when and who was going to take off for sick days, take the girls to the doc's, and even the smallest of issues...family vacations...LOL.

For some of us, it isn't that we can't handle it (heck, for others...it probably isn't even about their dh's not being able to handle it)....it is more along the lines of having the ability to eliminate it, so we don't have to worry about it.

Yes, I can WOH...and I can be very good at it....but it is best and easier for my family (especially my dh) for me to remain at home in one form or another. Do I miss working? Yup, sometimes I do. Do I miss the stress of what my working caused the family? No, because in my family...if dh is stressed...then guess what...so am I and it hinders MY ability to handle it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 12:33pm
I'm not going to let a newly 4 year old and a 22 month old regulate their own sleep. That's completely ridiculous!

Both of them say no when they mean yes half of the time. They don't know themselves what they even want, much less what they NEED! That's why I'm the parent, and they are the children.

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Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 12:33pm
Journalling is much like writing in a diary. . .it's really for the writer's pleasure and needs, not intended for an 'audience'.

Journalling is a great way to PRACTICE writing skills, not to display perfection.

Even given you don't understand child development and the practice of promoting writing skills through emergent literacy activities such as journalling, why on earth would you assume that journalling would need to be done in cursive?

Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 12:35pm
Did you breastfeed? Did you do so on demand or did you set up a schedule?

Why is this any different than breastfeeding on demand?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 12:35pm
You're a better woman than I. If I really wanted to WOH, my DH would have to support me, regardless of his stress level.

But then again, we decided before we married and had kids that we would both WOH, regardless of the circumstances. I guess I'd give my DH more leeway about his stress level if either of us had waffled back and forth about work status during our relationship.

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Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 12:37pm
Figures. . .such shame in being an enlisted 'man' isn't there?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 12:39pm
I didn't. I said "print/cursive," because a 7 year old might be learning cursive.

Again, what differentiaties scribbling (or "emergent writing") and journalling?

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