How does this relate to the debate?
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| Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm |
Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.
I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...
There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.
There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.
Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new
Hollie

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What constitutes "journaling" vs. scribbling? Expressing a complete sentence, phrase or some multi-word thought? Spelling a word correctly? Using punctuation?
Edited 8/25/2003 12:27:21 PM ET by peteynjoeysmom
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Stress. I can handle it perfectly fine, in fact...I totally relish the idea of running around like a crazy woman making sure everybody is where they are suppose to be, when they are suppose to be there. However, my dh doesn't like that at all. It makes him stressful, even though he isn't the one taking on the brunt of the running around. Plus, when the kids are sick...we had to rotate who takes off when and that added more stress to him because he doesn't LIKE to take off of work because then that adds stress to his work team. He will do it because that is part of having a dual working house...but he doesn't LIKE to do it. We even run into situations now that he has to leave work for a bit and come take one of our dd's to the doc's because I have a housefull of kids that I am caring for. It doesn't happen often, but I still do work and can't always get away for the last minute, over-night ear infections. He isn't nearly as stressed now because I don't rely on him for the vast majority of the doc visits (although, he does take off for dd1's big visits at CHOPS).
In order for us to eliminate as much stress as possible...I remain at home. I was just offered a very good paying job with the county, wonderful benefits, vacation/sick days, retirement...you name it...it was there. I turned it down. As soon as I mentioned it to dh...I could literally see his blood pressure start to rise as the worrying began about how, what, when and who was going to take off for sick days, take the girls to the doc's, and even the smallest of issues...family vacations...LOL.
For some of us, it isn't that we can't handle it (heck, for others...it probably isn't even about their dh's not being able to handle it)....it is more along the lines of having the ability to eliminate it, so we don't have to worry about it.
Yes, I can WOH...and I can be very good at it....but it is best and easier for my family (especially my dh) for me to remain at home in one form or another. Do I miss working? Yup, sometimes I do. Do I miss the stress of what my working caused the family? No, because in my family...if dh is stressed...then guess what...so am I and it hinders MY ability to handle it.
Both of them say no when they mean yes half of the time. They don't know themselves what they even want, much less what they NEED! That's why I'm the parent, and they are the children.
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Journalling is a great way to PRACTICE writing skills, not to display perfection.
Even given you don't understand child development and the practice of promoting writing skills through emergent literacy activities such as journalling, why on earth would you assume that journalling would need to be done in cursive?
Why is this any different than breastfeeding on demand?
But then again, we decided before we married and had kids that we would both WOH, regardless of the circumstances. I guess I'd give my DH more leeway about his stress level if either of us had waffled back and forth about work status during our relationship.
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Again, what differentiaties scribbling (or "emergent writing") and journalling?
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