How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 12:44pm
It's different because when they were breastfeeding on demand, they were going through irregular growth spurts and just plain growing and getting used to being in the world, and when they were hungry, they were hungry. It would be very difficult to "schedule" a child who takes no solids to only eat at certain times.

On the other hand, Dr. Marc Weissbluth and others have mapped the normal biorhythms of infant and child sleep, which start to become predictable after 4-6 months. Are you aware of this body of research? It's just not biologically possible that my children are not tired at 10 pm, because they nap early in the day, early enough so they are tired at their normal bedtime (my 4 year old very rarely naps). I don't let my children become overtired (even if they want to do things that would interfere with their body's need to sleep).

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 12:46pm
If your child aspired to be in the military, why wouldn't you want him or her to be an officer?

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 12:48pm
I read your initial statement as to be able to print or write (in cursive) not as print OR write in cursive. . .my mistake.

The difference between scribbling and journalling in the young child is in the meaning attached to the marks by the 'writer'.

Your 22 month old will probably ascribe no meaning to his marks. . .the joy for him is in the ACTION.

Your 4 year old may make marks that appear like letters and tell you he's 'written' a story or a sentence. HE has attached meaning to those marks. That is the beginnings of emergent literacy in writing, just as a child 'reading' a story they have really memorized after numerous readings by their parent is showing the beginnings of emergent literacy in reading. . .just like a baby is showing emergent literacy in speaking when they say 'babababababa' and then it becomes 'baba', then 'bottle'.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 12:52pm
Ok then.

I took "journalling" in suzymomm's original post to mean something much more advanced - my mistake.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 12:52pm
I have not ready Dr. Weissbluth's research, but if it is anything like Ezzo's approach to getting children on feeding schedules (yes, even during breastfeeding) then I'm not interested.

I don't let my children get 'overtired' either. . .but while your children won't let you sleep past 7 am, mine let me sleep til 8:30-9:00 am on the weekends. . .

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 12:54pm
Weissbluth is nothing like the charlatan Ezzo - please. I spit on Babywise three ways to Sunday. Yuck.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 1:00pm
Journalling in a 5& 7 year old WOULD be more advanced (different) than for a newly 4 year old, but you asked what the difference was between scribbling and journalling. . .

YOU might not be able to tell the difference in young children's (0-4) work AFTER they were finished with it whether it was scribbling or journalling, but in older children (5 and up) you'll be able to recognize it as more than scribbling. YOu may not see perfect punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc. . .but it'll LOOK like printed words.

Avatar for akpennington
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 1:02pm
And? You think if she worked she'd be any different?
Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 1:03pm
I wouldn't discourage them against being an officer, but I see no shame in being an enlisted service member either. . .course I married one.

And ask just about any non-commissioned officer.. .they know MUCH more than any 1st Lieutenant fresh from the 'academy' about military life and their jobs in general.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 1:06pm
Funny thing is, we had planned on me working full time after we had our girls. Like I said somewhere before in this thread (maybe to CLW?)...the first time I stayed home, I bought into all that militant SAH crap about someone else raising my kid, etc, etc, etc. DH didn't mind one bit me being home because it did make his life easier (hey, maybe he is spoiled at this point?) AND I had supported him for many years before dd1 came along. He was making good money, we could afford to loose my check and still live comfortably...so there was no big deal.

I did WOH part time for a couple of years (I get bored easily AND my friend needed some assistance getting her business up and running)...then I went back full time. The year I went back was the year we almost lost dd1 to her blood disease. Life was very hard and very stressful and there is always the threat that she could come out of remission and we have to face the same nightmare all over again. I think that adds to his stress level as well.

Plus, I am pretty darn laid back. More so then dh on this level. I really don't mind being home and I really don't mind working. So it just doesn't bother me at all doing what dh wants me to do in this instance. Of course there are others that he isn't so lucky about (I do NOT take the garbage out to the curb...LOL)...but then again....there are things that he doesn't mind and lets me take the lead on...so we are pretty even there.

Pages