How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 1:12pm
Personally, if my kids want to go into the military, I would rather they enter as Enlisted. they will learn much more about the military and how to be a good officer. ALL of the bad officers I have met went straight in as an officer. Every single one of them.

Now does that mean they can't become an officer later? Nope...if that is what they choose to do, it is fully possible and MANY people do it.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

Avatar for akpennington
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 1:13pm
It's a journal. It's not a graded assignment. Most can get their point across. At my oldest's school, last year, they'd have a topic or question for the day. They'd write and draw how they saw fit to answer the question or topic.

At home, my kids scribble random thoughts in theirs. When they're twenty, I'm sure they won't have a clue what they were trying to say. (of course, when I read my journals from a year ago, I don't know what I was talking about...) But it's good practice - for writing and journaling.

Why would it have to be in cursive and complete sentences to be useful?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 1:14pm
Of course there's no shame in being enlisted. But why not want your children to be at the top of whatever field of endeavor they enter?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 1:22pm
It has been my observation that when people are condescending and arrogant, they are truly very insecure about themselves. That is my thought about the militant sahms that visit this board, and a couple of the militant wohms on this board (I can only think of two). If they felt so secure and confident about their choices, they would not be the ones that post more than anyone else, devoting so much time and mental energy, attacking others to build themselves up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 1:22pm
I guess I just don't understand this need or desire to want to be at the "top" of whatever I do. All I want for me or for my kids is for them to be HAPPY doing what they are doing. I think that is why I struggle so much with the thought of going to law school. I have NO intentions of putting in the hours that people find "necessary" to "be the best". does not appeal to me in the least. Nor would I want that for my kids.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 1:22pm
ITA. A little (or lot) of whining is a minor sin compared to not bringing home a necessary paycheck. I can't believe you got debate on this point.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 1:24pm
Your son would rather have lived out on the street, rather than listen to you complain about your awful work life?

Your co-workers could put up with some moaning if it went along with necessary financial survival.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 1:27pm
Well then we're just 180 degrees different. I often have to settle for being less than the best, but why set out to do just middlin'? It's NOT enough. Law school will eat you alive if that's your attitude. You have to WANT to be your personal best, and for me, that extends to my kids.

Why would you want to just get by in anything you do? What could possibly stop you from wanting the most and the best?

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Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 1:28pm
That's just it. . .for you 'the top' is all about rank, titles, and appearances. . .for me 'the top' means being the very best you can be in what you've chosen to do. . .

My dh is a kick ass NCO. . .he doesn't have to be an officer to be at 'the top' in his military career.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 1:29pm
Um, yes he does.

He can be his own personal best without rising in rank, but it's not objectively "the best."

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