How does this relate to the debate?
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| Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm |
Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.
I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...
There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.
There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.
Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new
Hollie

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There are two different rank systems and my dh is rising in the ranks, just as a non-commissioned officer (enlisted). . .that doesn't mean he isn't successful or that he doesn't strive to be the best NCO he can be. .
And again. . .lots of officers come out of the academy without knowing squat. . .does their rank automatically make them 'better' than an NCO. . .
Again, it's obvious to you that rank and title are most important. . .and for me, they aren't most important.
That has nothing to do with the choice between being an officer and being enlisted, though. Just because you are an officer does not, by any means, mean you are the best or in the top of your field. In most instances it is the opposite, I have found.
Doing your best at something or KNOWING everything you can know about your job is not the same as striving to be the top. There is a HUGE difference there.
Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14
Subjective measurements are just difficult to deal with. How do you help your children aspire to subjective, gray area goals? How can you attain them if they're not objectively set forth? It's not a goal to be "happy," happiness is a by product.
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Having said that, it's hard for me to say what I would want for my children. I guess I would want them to "go for the best" while they are young but be mature enough to realize that life has choices.
Laura
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If they grow up thinking that only the "best" is good enough then what will they do if they face a conflict? What if your ds is a lawyer, has 2 kids and does not want to work 80 hours a week needed to be partner in the "best" law firm in the city because he wants to spend more time with his kids? I would think that the obvious better choice would be for him to take the job with less hours and *be happier.*
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