How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 1:55pm
the only advantage of being an officer, that I can see, is the money. Now, there are some fields in which one MUST be an officer. One of those would be a pilot, at which point the person would have to strive to be an officer.

As far as why ALL people don't enter as enlisteds, I cannot speak for them all. But in what I have seen a good number of them are entering as an officer for either the money or the power...

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 1:57pm
But they can and do get somewhere...they get to be the manager of the shoe store. Why does that mean so little to you?

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 1:58pm
It really isn't the bottom line...though my parents always tried to make me see that it was. The bottom line is that they really SERIOUSLY screwed up their children. And getting over emotional issues are VERY difficult to do.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 1:58pm


This may not be what most of us want for our children, but it's not so clear cut -- there probably is someone who lives a completely healthy happy working as a manager of a shoe store-- his/her life would be just a fulfilling and rich as a CEO of that shoe store chain.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 1:58pm
Call me crazy but I can't help but wonder what the long-term prospects of a child is going to be who has grown up neither liking, nor loving, nor respecting his/her parents. Wait, no I don't have to wonder...I've seen it: not good. I don't think you'll get an argument from me or most people I've seen writing on this subthread that a parent has the responsibility to do that crap job regardless. I certainly wouldn't approve of someone going on welfare to avoid a bad job. But I think most people, and certainly I, take issue with the idea that taking that job is "rising to the occasion". IMO, it is doing what is necessary. "Rising to the ocassion" would be doing what is necessary with a certain amount of grace and humour, or at least self-restraint. Such parents who have not managed this have done the bare minimum and their duty, but they are certainly not to be applauded...I reserve that for parents who manage the bad job and manage to keep their children's respect and love. The bottom line value is not only, IMO, feeding and clothing a child...it is raising them to have respect for themselves and to see to it that they grow up into capable and productive adults.


Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 2:01pm
Yes, I very much agree with you that the negative impact on the children can be hugh. Emotional baggage seeps into so much of the life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 2:02pm
But I *do* understand why in this scenario, you would want your child to go for that CEO position because I probably would too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 2:04pm
That last post to myself was actually to PJM... as is this one (I just can't find the post)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2001
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 2:08pm
Maybe not the whole of Great Britain ... but some living on the Island do, lol. Growing up with my British born and raised mom ... we took our shoes off at the door and carried them into the threshold, lol, mom enforced it. After living in the states the last 32 years, I've let go of that custom years ago. Some Americans do go barefoot around their homes, my American dh does and all of his siblings. That might be close enough to that old "European" custom ... since my dh's ancestors are Swedes and English. LOL

Linda

 

Linda - wife, mother, grandmum                     &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 2:21pm
But now you are going to undo everything your "lone" self did for womankind by leaving the male dominated field of engineering by going into a traditional woman held field of teaching.

You will be slamming that door shut for all other future female engineers by leaving the field of engineering and taking a more traditional woman's role in teaching.

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