How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2001
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 2:21pm
And my ds too ... math, science, english all A's all throughout school; B's in history. My work/non work status had no affect on his academics ... he absolutely loved learning. Of my two dd's, one has made honors all semesters since 6th grade, she loves math and science. One dd has made it once, missing it with C's in science; she struggles a bit. I wonder they love science and math so much ... I did poorly in both. My forte is english and history ... my mom sah. LOL ... could that have been a factor? ;o)

Linda

 

Linda - wife, mother, grandmum                     &nb

Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 2:24pm
You teach them to look at their own progress. . .progress based upon their past performance compared to current performance, not progress based upon others necessarily.

My dd1 just tried out for the school volleyball team. . .before last fall she'd NEVER played on a team sport before. She made the "C" team. . .she was striving for the "A" team and I supported her in that knowing she probably wouldn't make it. . .but I reminded her of the progress she has made in her volleyball skills over the last year. If she practices more she'll have a better chance of making the "A" team, but more than anything I want her to enjoy the experience.

My perspective comes from the fact that in ECE we use subjective, as well as objective measurements, such as portfolio development. . .and I spent way too many years of my life trying to meet some arbitrary 'standards' without studying what I truly loved and was passionate about.

Avatar for akpennington
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 2:24pm
For me, I don't believe my children need my help in aspiring to anything. Their aspirations are theirs. IMO, my job is to offer them support. I have no reason to believe that they won't figure it out for themselves when the time is right.

When I started attending college, I had really no firm idea of what direction I was heading. I had thoughts along the way, but nothing that really jumped at me. I proceeded to get all the little transfer requirements out of the way with faith that I would figure it out at the right time. After a necessary break from school (difficult pregnancy, my own health problems) I'm going back this fall. I'm moving in a broad direction because, though I know what interests me, I don't know what specifically I want to 'do.' I know it'll grab me when I find it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 2:27pm
You're wrong.
Avatar for akpennington
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 2:27pm
How come? If I aspired to be the manager of a shoe store, and became the manager of a show store, I'd certainly have gotten somewhere, wouldn't I? I'd have fulfilled my goal.
Avatar for akpennington
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 2:29pm
I can't agree with this. Food, clothes, shelter are important. But someone that hates every second of their life and makes it very clear to those that love them, is without a doubt not someone I'd want my kids to model after.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 2:32pm
No, it doesn't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2001
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 2:37pm
Good one Eileen ... I spewed diet coke, at least it ain't sticky! ROTF, Linda

 

Linda - wife, mother, grandmum                     &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 2:46pm
And the post of the week goes to ....

<>

applause, applause

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 2:47pm
Actually, I didn't even reply to your response because I had no idea what you meant. But who knows.. LOL

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