How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 2:50pm
Ok, guess i didn't get the memo that all posts on this board, and all aspirations, thoughts, shoot, just about anything ... has be put in the realm of "as life is in p&jmom's area."

Sorry, I'll be more sure to make all my posts relate directly to your chosen locale in the future

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2001
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 2:57pm
I feel like an alien here sometimes, as if child care providers are from another planet. OKAY ... Parents leave their children with me and really are still responsible for them ... I don't see where I'm to take any more responsibility than to provide a safe and healthy environment free of harsh words or punishments, see to children's needs of healthy nourishment and physical care, practice healthy hygiene with them, and stimulate their senses with learning activities. This happens in less time than you think ... and not during a child's every waking moment. Six of the seven children in my program are here less than 40 hours per week, only one child is here all 45 hours. And 45 hours out of a whole 168 each week is not a heck of a lot in the long run.

Linda

 

Linda - wife, mother, grandmum                     &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 3:34pm
Ah, but then the reason he'll be able to "trade down" in his career is because he aspired to be the best.

And I was taught to get straight As because I could, and if my kids are able to get straight As, I want them to do so. Why do they need to know a specific reason at age 13 as to why it's important to do well? The answer is it will help them achieve ANY goal to get straight As.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 3:35pm
You don't think officers are more respected (in or out of the military) than enlisted personnel?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 3:36pm
What does it mean? They're not helping society, they're not making a lot of money - what does it mean?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 3:37pm
I completely disagree. It must be all in how it's presented in the household that the children grow up in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 3:40pm
My point is that there's a role for objective criteria in measuring success as well as personal and subjective criteria.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 3:41pm
I don't know. I know that my husband is/was MORE than respected, while he was just an E-7. Personally, no, I don't respect officers anymore than I do the enlisted. If anything, I respect the enlisted person more than your general officer. They are typically more knowledgeable about their job than any of the officers in their area.

However, what does it matter if someone is more respected or not? Is that really what you want your kids to strive for? Other peoples respect?

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 3:42pm
I want to guide my children more actively than that. Do you think something would have "jumped out at you" more readily if you'd chewed over your options with your parents? After all, they know you and your strengths and weaknesses the best.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 3:42pm
But what about that would be so bizarre, if it were true? Do images of a maniacal mother cracking a whip over her children's heads to get them to write "big thoughts" in their journals come to mind? Is it that the mother is demanding writing at an academic level not appropriate for the children's ages? I don't get why you are so bent out of shape about a little kid sitting quietly writing in a journal to while away the time. (And to put it in perspective, this is comparing journaling for a 5 or 7 year old to the concept of having the government be allowed to raise our children ala some social planner's dream.)

I do recall mentioning what my kids would do in the ob/gyn office. But you would laugh if you knew what my dd (5, not yet in K) writes and draws in her journal. She just gets off on the fact that her daddy gave her a fancy leather bound journal (a freebee from a sales training seminar) and it is HERS and only she can write in it. That is what the thrill is for her. Oh, and the fact that her room is such a mess that we often can't find the journal for weeks at a time and when we do it is such a wonderful surprise!

I really am curious why you think a mother who encourages journaling is bizarre.

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