How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 3:43pm
???? Was this a direct response to that particular post of mine?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 3:44pm
Among other things - yes.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 3:46pm
Most every job helps society in one way or another. And who says they aren't making a lot of money? A lot of money according to who? You? Could they make more money at another profession? Sure, but is that really how we want to pick our professions?

What does being the manager of a shoe store mean? It means that they have attained a goal. It means they have a career they enjoy. It means they are doing something that pays the bills and supports their family.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 3:46pm
I can understand that because I'm a planner too. If someone had told me 5 years ago that I'd leave a great job with a top notch law firm to sah, I'd have laughed in their face. But sometimes things happen that cause you to reevaluate your priorities. And I'm NOT saying that your family isn't your top priority. I just don't want the frantic pace that we would have if I were woh. Dh and I are getting along better (and not because I've become some kind of domestic goddess; when he calls on his way home and asks what's for dinner, my usual response is "what are you picking up?") Dd #1 is more relaxed. As I said somewhere else, dd #2 will probably never relax, but that's another story ; )

To each his own, I guess.

Avatar for akpennington
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 3:49pm
Nope. They don't know me, my strengths, and my weaknesses best. I do.
Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 3:53pm
Respect is EARNED, not bestowed upon a person (military or otherwise) merely by title or rank.

Authority may be bestowed based upon title or rank alone, but not respect.

Surely there are judges you deal with whose authority you must respect, but whom you do not respect as a professional.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 3:54pm
In my ideal world my kids would get straight A's because they would get joy out of it not because it's important to me. That may be ideal but that's what I would wish.

The people who are successful are that way because they have the passion to do well. The kids that I saw in college who didn't do well were those who did well previously because their parents pushed them to do so-- in college, their parents weren't there anymore, they didn't know why they were working so hard, so they had problems.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 3:55pm
We're talking in the abstract here. Is managing a shoe store the highest aspiration you have for your children, now, at their ages?

And I'm sorry, but there's no way managing a shoe store is a "career."

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 3:56pm
huh...interesting...

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 3:58pm
Yes, to each their own. I couldn't imagine my DH letting me SAH and then making him pick up dinner (but we've been down THAT debate road before....)

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