How does this relate to the debate?
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| Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm |
Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.
I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...
There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.
There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.
Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new
Hollie

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If I decide to go to law school it will because I really enjoy law. It's like a puzzle...deciphering what the laws say, and how this one affects that one, etc.
Do you really think that only attorneys have careers?
Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14
What if your child has a learning disability or becomes disabled in some way. . .or just plain struggles?
What if the VERY best they can do is earn a 'C'?
Laura
I am thinking of the mother who figured out how to hold her baby and it felt "right" within the first say, twenty minutes of life. That would be an "ideal" of a natural mother. A sorta animal instinct thing.
I read a book a while back that was much better describing the concept. It was called Parents Who Think Too Much. (Which probably includes all of us here because we are debating this issue.) Here's a blurb from the back of the book:
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"For decades," notes Cassidy, a mother of three who writes on parenting issues, "bringing up kids has been evolving from something instinctive, personal and private to something studied, impersonal and commercial," as today's parents, cut adrift from extended families and isolated at the office, have lost confidence in themselves--and lost touch with their children--and turn to books and seminars for pat solutions to childhood's complex problems.
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And I don't think I get to define anything. I just made the mistake of interpreting many years of posts, developing an internal portrait based on the information in those posts and attributing characteristics to someone in a way that was not too terribly sensitive and in a way in which many people were uncomfortable. I understand that we are not to do that on this board. I'm learning. I said I was sorry.
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Laura
You're not going to go to law school so you can be gainfully employed and make money?
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