How has your position changed (Or not)?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
How has your position changed (Or not)?
42
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 7:13pm

Think back to before you had children. How has your position changed regarding children and the type of care they receive changed? Or hasn't it? Have you changed how you feel about what is better for your particular family's situation?

Have you mellowed? Have you become more strident?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 03-06-2009 - 10:29am
you know,there's a new pediatric practice in cypress.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2009
Fri, 03-06-2009 - 10:30am

"I've always wanted to minimize my need for paid childcare."


A lot of people feel that way. Unfortunately, that results in either scrambling for consistent care, access to only poor quality care or both.


"To me, the whole point of having children was that I wanted to be with them."


That's only a small point of having children, to me. How does that work when your kids are teens or grown up? Then the "whole point" of having children is over?


"I love working, but I consider it more of a hobby."


Why? Why were you raised to consider paid employment a hobby?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2004
Fri, 03-06-2009 - 11:39am

My biggest change is realizing that mom's don't have to SAH in order to have close relationships with their kids and kids who excel in academics.

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 03-06-2009 - 11:44am
I think you are right about what the important things are for a kid. May I ask why you thought kids had to have a SAH and be homeschooled in order to excel?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2004
Fri, 03-06-2009 - 11:57am

I guess I figured homeschooling was like

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
Fri, 03-06-2009 - 12:12pm

>> A lot of people feel that way. Unfortunately, that results in either scrambling for consistent care, access to only poor quality care or both. <<

When my older two were young, we worked opposite shifts. We neither scrambled nor only accessed poor quality care.

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Why hide your light under a bushel of bears, I ask you?

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Why hide your light under a bushel of bears, I ask you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2009
Fri, 03-06-2009 - 12:23pm
...or you struggle to find quality time with your spouse when neither of you is sleeping.
Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 03-06-2009 - 1:35pm
I see what you mean. Thanks for explaining.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Fri, 03-06-2009 - 2:38pm

<< That's only a small point of having children, to me. How does that work when your kids are teens or grown up? Then the "whole point" of having children is over?>>

Poor wording on my part, sorry. I’m not going to debate the simple fact that I want to spend as much time as possible with my children, though.

<< Why? Why were you raised to consider paid employment a hobby? Were you raised to expect a man to take care of the financial needs of yours and any children you had? I think it's ridiculous that any able bodied person can consider work a "hobby" as a default position. That's a luxury.>>

Yes, I was raised to expect a man to be able to take care of the financial needs of his family. No, I was not raised to think of working as a hobby by default. I was raised to be self-sufficient. But what I'm saying is that my job is fun for me – it’s like a hobby. In my mind, the fact that I get paid for it is an awesome benefit. And IF my Dh’s salary happened to provide for the family’s needs, then I certainly would prefer that my work hours don’t greatly interfere with the time that my children are with their parents. I don’t see what’s wrong with that as a personal preference, whether or not it pans out in reality.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
Fri, 03-06-2009 - 4:48pm

>> ...or you struggle to find quality time with your spouse when neither of you is sleeping. <<

That is an issue. However, I was addressing the specific points you made in your previous post.

++++++++++++++++++

Why hide your light under a bushel of bears, I ask you?

++++++++++++++++++

Why hide your light under a bushel of bears, I ask you?