How has your position changed (Or not)?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
How has your position changed (Or not)?
42
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 7:13pm

Think back to before you had children. How has your position changed regarding children and the type of care they receive changed? Or hasn't it? Have you changed how you feel about what is better for your particular family's situation?

Have you mellowed? Have you become more strident?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Tue, 03-24-2009 - 5:27pm
I'm glad you found a care giver that you really like.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Tue, 03-24-2009 - 5:15pm

When DH and I first got married, we just assumed that I would stay home when we had kids.

2010 Siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 03-24-2009 - 7:28am

thank you.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Sat, 03-21-2009 - 8:27pm

Hmmm...I don't really know. I didn't much think about it before I had kids, because I never wanted kids. It took dh awhile to talk me into it. Regardless, I knew I would work once that decision was made. I didn't give much thought to what other people would do. My mom SAH for 12 years, my MIL SAH, so it's not like I didn't think that was an option. Just not an option for me.

I guess I'm not more mellow now. I'm definitely less of a workaholic. I see the benefit of reducing my work hours. I also see the benefit of SAH, whereas before I didn't give it much thought. While some families do perfectly fine with two WP's, for others it's a recipe for disaster, unhappiness, neglect...This may sound crazy, but some parents WANT to be there 24/7. Just as I wouldn't be able to stay at home for more than a few months, some families would be miserable with two full time working parents. Anyone who assumes that their way is the right way has the complete inability to be empathetic (or is it sympathetic?)

I've gotten the ability to see the other side simply by having SAHMs who've loved it and haven't suffered for it.

And then there's the outsourcing argument. In some respect, it does seem strange to have 100% of moms work, and then end up having to hire people to watch their kids while they do it. Sure, it creates more jobs, but I wonder if it doesn't separate the classes a bit. Just rambling there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Fri, 03-20-2009 - 11:02am

Oh, yeah. The Erica that outsiders saw was NOT the real Erica.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-20-2009 - 10:02am

The things that look good to absolute strangers can be the worst thing for the actual kid. I had to constantly check myself when dd was younger,

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Fri, 03-20-2009 - 1:13am
During my lecture on shaping behavior, I tell my students to have mercy on parents of children that are having a temper tantrum. Attention only feeds their actions, so as long as the kids aren't doing damage, the parents' best option for extinguishing the behavior is to consistently ignore the tantrum until they calm down and eventually learn that it doesn't get them what they want. To the untrained eye, it looks like the parent is "letting them get away with it", when in fact they are doing exactly what they should be doing at the moment.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2006
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 11:36am

Can I confess that something I am actually a titsy bit glad

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 8:38am
One of our friends said that before he had kids and a child was crying on a lane he would think, "oh man, Can't they shut that kid up?" and now after children he thinks "Oh those poor parents, thank g-d my child isn't crying..."
Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 8:14am
Ditto, and good point.

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