How the Kids View SAH and WOH

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2008
How the Kids View SAH and WOH
653
Wed, 08-06-2008 - 10:09am

Something I heard yesterday in reference to my decision to return to work: "Well, the good thing is you'll be showing your kids that it's okay for a mom to have a career."


This threw me. I've never felt that my children weren't proud of me no matter what

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Wed, 08-06-2008 - 10:54am

Could be, but it could also just be part of her personality.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-06-2008 - 10:54am
My mother was a SAHM. I remember wanting her to get a job from when I was quite small. It was obvious that she was frustrated being a SAHM and also I thought (as a small child) that mothers who worked were quite glamorous. When she finally went back to school I was in my teens, but I remember feeling happy for her and relieved in a strange way. As long as she was not working, I felt that if I achieved anything I would somehow be showing her up. Her going back to school made me feel that it was OK for me to succeed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Wed, 08-06-2008 - 10:54am

I whole-heartedly believe that every couple should have individual money as well as joint money - and if one person is SAH, then you need to go out of the way to still make sure that they get a steady source of money that they don't have to 'ask for' or somehow justify. (Obviously the scope of this varies according to means - for some people it may have to be as basic as 20 bucks a week that each person can spend on overpriced lattes or car magazines, all the way up to large portions of dual income - whatever is feasible while still supporting the family expenses, savings, etc.)

However, if someone is in a relationship where to get to this point they have to 'secretly' put money aside??? Then they really do have big issues in their relationship and you have to question the wisdom of the marriage in the first place.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Wed, 08-06-2008 - 10:55am
Great post!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2008
Wed, 08-06-2008 - 10:56am

Just to clarify--I don't think parents should choose

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Wed, 08-06-2008 - 10:57am
Wow, what an incredibly interesting perspective.
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-06-2008 - 10:58am
oh no no I got that....

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2008
Wed, 08-06-2008 - 11:06am
Ya I guess that would be ridiculous eh..lol! Well I can only go from my experience, if we were living only on my fiance's income, not only would we have to cut down on all of our expenses, but there would be no extra money to put aside, honestly! I like having my own paycheck, i like that it goes all in my bank account, and of course at the end of the day it is our money, but I like that I contribute financially and don't have to ask for money. I also want to teach my daughter what I was taught, so she's able to take care of herself man or no man. Of course every family has a different way of doing things and you have to do what works best for your family.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Wed, 08-06-2008 - 11:13am

Well, my kids have never known anything different.

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2008
Wed, 08-06-2008 - 11:14am

Such an

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