How much daycare is too much?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
How much daycare is too much?
707
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 11:26am

Did anyone see the Wall Street Journal today? An article on the "Personal Journal" page talks about two studies that are coming out -- one being the already referenced NICHD study -- that shows 45+ hours a week of day can do harm to a child. What I found interesting about it is that the NICHD study says *anything* other than mom care is other care!! What happened to Dad?

The other article, in the same section, is an article about how parents are outsourcing everything now, including potty training! The article states that parents will send a child to a batting coach instead of just playing catch in the backyard. Another service, that costs $60 an hour (!), will help teach your child how to ride a bike!

I don't have an online subscription to the Journal, so I can't post the stories here. Does anyone else have one?

mom_writer

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 4:23pm
I swear, every time M3T talks about people wanting to "'bare' children" I'm thinking of MJ too!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 4:25pm
But then he'd have the flexibility to take a salaried job, or retrain for a job, that required many fewer hours.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 4:27pm

Who is working out five days a week? Every person on this thread has said 3 times a week. I see your point but I certainly understand the need to exercise.


When your children were young, you did not do anything after work in order to bond? No church committee meetings, no circle meetings, no meeting with friends? You came home and stayed? If your husband watched the kids, what do you suggest a working mother does when she has a husband unwilling/unavailable to watch the kids? Should the mother then stop all activities?


Since I don't have a spouse, I do take my children to the church nursery so I can go to committee meetings and circle. I have taken them to the gym nursery after work too (when I was working full time.) I do not feel it hurt our bonding time or our relationship. At all.


"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 4:28pm

Hey maybe they co-sleep and don't care if the kids nightwake all night from being overtired.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 4:28pm

I have been trying so hard not to say anything.


I am not the world's greatest speller.


"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 4:29pm
You can't compare.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 4:29pm
Try having a wireless keyboard that really needs batteries.....
Mondo Mom

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2005
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 4:30pm

i don't know cyducks...i guess i look at it differently.

at least there is *one* parent around while the other works. i can't speak for dual income families because i'm not part of one but based on the observation i have noted, i find it ironic to inform a child that you have worked hard all day to provide for them then turn around and include that you must now continue to stay *away* from them to get some sort of exercise routine in which is much more flexible for some than a work schedule.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 4:32pm
There is still the fact that he *chose* his career field, he *chose* his job and therefore he *chooses* to be away from his children that many hours a day. And is his need or desire for that particular job that requires long hours any more important than a mom's need to stay healthy through exercise?


Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 4:33pm
Kristi, when my kids were little I was in a completely different situation from you, so I don't think that it would be productive to compare our situations. But what did get sacrificed over those years, for me, was female friendships and "fun" activities. I didn't realize it at the time, because I really did prefer being with my children over anything else I could be doing. I personally craved time with the kids, a lot of time, over much of anything else. Now they are older, and I have more time for things like Circle, and working out, and being on a church committee -- however -- I am still very reluctant to say "yes" to things that require ongoing evening commitments. It is too easy to get sucked into doing worthwhile things FOR my kids -- PTA, Church Committees, Scout leadership meetings, etc, and not have any time to be doing things WITH my kids. I do not feel as if my life has suffered a loss of balance because I place time with my kids very high on my list of priorities. At all.

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