How much daycare is too much?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
How much daycare is too much?
707
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 11:26am

Did anyone see the Wall Street Journal today? An article on the "Personal Journal" page talks about two studies that are coming out -- one being the already referenced NICHD study -- that shows 45+ hours a week of day can do harm to a child. What I found interesting about it is that the NICHD study says *anything* other than mom care is other care!! What happened to Dad?

The other article, in the same section, is an article about how parents are outsourcing everything now, including potty training! The article states that parents will send a child to a batting coach instead of just playing catch in the backyard. Another service, that costs $60 an hour (!), will help teach your child how to ride a bike!

I don't have an online subscription to the Journal, so I can't post the stories here. Does anyone else have one?

mom_writer

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 7:07pm

Whatever will you do with yourself when they start school.


I've asked you before, and you refused, but I'll try again.


What is, iyo, a viable option for a wohm to exercise and stay healthy? Assume she has a regular 8-5 office job schedule and her dh woh too.



Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2005
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 7:12pm

and again, i have shared this answer in a couple posts before you chimed in savcal.

let me repeat: lots of gyms (i can't speak for where you are) in the different areas i have lived had hours that *purposely* accomodate working people. hours range from 4:30A to as late as 11:00P. i am preparing myself for a rebutal here so let me clarify that this wide range of hours would be NONEXISTENT if there was not an audience for it so it must work for *some* people.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 7:17pm

I also don't get how much the focus is on the parent. What about the child's needs as member of a family where all members' needs are purportedly equal? *L* I hate to imagine what goes on in the child's head as he's shuffled off to yet another dc at the gym after being in a full day dc ** and ** immediately after seeing his mom or dad for a few minutes at the dc pickup. How can anyone pick up a child from 8-hr dc - a child who is so happy to see his parent - and then shun his eagerness to see his parent by placing him in a second dc? That has to be very difficult to do, to say the least.

And there is no meaningful time left in the day at home for child/parent bonding. Even getting out of work at 5 pm, drive to pick up child's dinner (McDonalds), drive to dc, drive to gym, workout, shower, drive home... Even if the child is awake when they get home, the parent can't possibly be fully refreshed to spend quality time playing games with and reading to the child.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 7:27pm

It does work for some. What about the rest? I suppose, in the world according to m3t, that they must go without.



Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 7:36pm
How does it possibly burden her children? It's a benefit these days to have one parent home all day with the children. Children appreciate it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2005
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 7:51pm
unfortunately, one size doesn't fit all with that scenario.....the bait is there, to those not chosing it are only cutting themselves short on not only exercise but time with their dear child.......sad. really.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 7:54pm

I thought about this some more while Zak was at swim pratice, Alex was playing and I was swimming laps. I got really defensive when Mom3 said Mondo was selfish because I have been where Mondo has been. Trying to hold the world up while your DH gets his feet on the ground. She is remodeling, changing daycares, working, getting used to a new baby and her DH is finally working. She needs time to herself but she does not want to rock the boat. She needs to work out for her health and her mental health. So, what is she to do?


In a perfect world, a parent would always be available to watch a child while the other parent gets to exercise. It does not happen all the time. In a perfect world, a mothe and a father's time would be held at equal value and the father would get penalized for working long hours as much as the mother gets penalized for exercising. In a perfect world, one parent would not have to carry the weight of the household on their shoulders.


Do I think it is a great idea to use othercare for 11 hours a day? Not really. Do I consider the alternative to be better? No. I know from experience that a burnt-out mother is far worse than a child spending three extra hours in the gym nursery. I think expecting a mother to be on 24-7 can be a bad thing and expecting a mother to go straight from work to home without doing church activities, socialization or exercising can be diastorous.


It is interesting to me that Savcal and PNJ don't use gym nursery. They have found ways around it. Mondo is desperate just as I was desperate. I admit I did it and I felt guilty but I felt worse yelling and screaming at my kids. I needed the outlet. The kids got over it.


"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 7:56pm

I would say that Zak does not enjoy having me home all day. He hates it. Of course, he despises everything lately but that is a pretty broad statement to make.


"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 8:10pm

I personally don't care for the scenario either.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 8:13pm

Wow, Kristi, you really do *get* it.

Mondo

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