How much daycare is too much?
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 03-31-2005 - 11:26am |
Did anyone see the Wall Street Journal today? An article on the "Personal Journal" page talks about two studies that are coming out -- one being the already referenced NICHD study -- that shows 45+ hours a week of day can do harm to a child. What I found interesting about it is that the NICHD study says *anything* other than mom care is other care!! What happened to Dad?
The other article, in the same section, is an article about how parents are outsourcing everything now, including potty training! The article states that parents will send a child to a batting coach instead of just playing catch in the backyard. Another service, that costs $60 an hour (!), will help teach your child how to ride a bike!
I don't have an online subscription to the Journal, so I can't post the stories here. Does anyone else have one?
mom_writer

Pages
What about the child's needs? Forgetting that he doesn't have quality time with his parents those 2 to 3 weekdays. What about the hectic pace, the endless being "on" for daycare provider and a new set of young faces at the gym dc?
What about the fast food he's getting 2 to 3 times during the week? How healthy is that?
I think all parents sacrifice wants - and needs - and put things on-hold until their children are older. Last year I decided to give up the gym until everyone is in school. The children kept getting sick and then other issues happened.
I think Melissa and Mondo mentioned needing exercise. I don't know how to handle that situation. I just know that a child in 2 dcs with dual wohps is not getting quality time with either parent 2 to 3 days a week. And that can't be good.
<>
If "eating healthy" is a need, then how can the parent justify feeding at least 2 to 3 fast food dinners (I think it was McDonalds in the OP) to the young child each week?
And M3T said the children's eyes would appear heavy. I don't doubt 2 dcs and several trips in the car will do that to a child. How can lack of sleep or on/off sleep during the car trips to and from the gym be what the child needs?
whoosh pumpkinangel....glad that works for you..applaud applaud applaud.
in my world, dh *crazy* hours are quite compatible because my role balances his role. he and i have sacrificed a lot to give our children what they have today, including a membership to the ymca, which is something we don't tinker with when it comes to picking that over quality time with our children....maybe you could define compatibility(sp?).
yep, it wouldn't apply here because #1. i don't woh hence feeling some need to satisfy my own work out when my children would have already been in a dc setting all day! and #2. it's one thing to *love* the gyms nursery and another thing all together to be smothered by it on a regular basis....it's like going to mcdonalds and playing in their playland. yea, kids by nature love this place. but my children and many others i know would never spend more than a couple hours there. after a while, it does get stale and it's time to call it a day. that's the same impression some children i've observed get with extended dc at the gym. they just wine and bare it because they have no say in the matter. sad.
it's quite clear pumpkinangel that your life scenarios and my life scenarios are on total opposite sides of a spectrum. you justify and compare an extra hour or two at the gym while your child plays and waits (*again*) for you to come pick him up to a dh commitment to work.....you believe some *good* teacher is going to fix a problem of quality education or child's performance....i think differently. is either one better than the other? yea, in the family's world the scenario fits it is.
I am debating generalities, not one specific family that M3T is citing. We can all come up with poor parenting examples on all sides of the sahp/wohp debate - I don't debate those. I am debating the general concept of whether a parent's needs can be met over a child's wants. Excersize is a need, not a want.
I think it is important for sahps and wohps to get enough excersize - for dual wohps that can mean their child spends an extra hour in daycare. I also think it is important for the children to get enough excersize. IME, the parents that utilize the gym babysitting services are overwhelmingly sahps. The wohps utilize their normal othercare - so the child doesn't get schlepped around everywhere. Also IME, children who get taken to McDonalds freqwntly are eqaully distributed between dual wohps and wohp/saph households.
good point.
i find that this debate comes to a screaching holt or fork in the road when it is shared that gyms do have accomodating hours like 4:30A to 11P.....somehow the blubbering defense goes awol.
Again, I am not debating one specific family. This family sounds like they need to find a better balance in their lives. There are cases like these on all sides of the wohp/sahp debate. I wish I could wave my magic wand to make sure all children are well attended.
I am debating generalities not specific cases. I think parents need to put their *needs* ahead of their children's *wants*. I think excersize is a *need*. I think that a child can spend an extra hour in daycare if it means his parents are getting the excersize they *need*. I also think it is possible for some parents to it do with their children. I was never able to do this - so I understand building a excersizing program into one's day away from a child.
I do not agree with going to fast food three times a week. But this isn't a wohp/sahp issue. It happens in all types of families. We do fast food only on long trips - so it is about 6 times a year - this would not change and hasn't changed as our work statuses have changed.
I think that giving up an excersize program until children are older isn't healthy. I think we - as a society- need to encorporate more excersize into our lives - at all stages. I know several women who stopped excersizing after kids ansd said they would get back to it once the children were in school - yet their children are in school and they are excersizing yet.
Since sleep is also a need, exercising at 4:30 a.m. or 10:00 p.m. is not always feasible.
To get up at 4:00 in the morning and still get 8 hours of sleep would mean going to bed at 8:00, which just happens to be the time that many families are doing their bedtime rountine with their children.
To go to bed at midnight and still get in 8 hour of sleep means sleeping in until 8:00, something than can be impossible to do when you have little ones, no matter what the work status.
Pages