How prevelant is this attitude?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
How prevelant is this attitude?
222
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 11:29am
A post below peeked my interest, as I have run into this a few times IRL, and alot online. How prevelant is the thinking that SAHP's are just home because they expect someone else to support them. Or because they are too lazy to get a job or keep a job. I didn't really keep up on the story of that governor who had twins while in office, but if I remember, her husband was a SAHP and it was constantly rumored that he wasn't a SAHD, he just couldn't keep a job. That may be true, I don't know, but I found it interesting that it even came up.

In the past, I have run into alot of people (alot in my own disfunctional family) who view the SAHP (me at the time) as someone who either cannot or won't hold down a job. They (in a general sense) tend to overlook the SAHP as someone who is not worthwhile of their time and attention. I know that there are judgements made on both sides of this, and I think we hear alot of the SAHP's judgements here because it tends to ruffle feathers. But I'm wondering how many other people have run into the WOHP's judgements or even to hear from WOHPs here who have the same judgements because I really don't understand this way of thinking.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 11:15am
How is SAH "opting out"? What are you opting out of if you choose to SAH? If a man decided to SAH would he being opting out or would he be enlightened and doing his share of the child raising duties?

I don't think that women leaving the workforce *creates* the discrepancy in pay, anymore than I believe that single mothers were the cause of the LA Riots - but it sure is easy to blame them isn't it? I think that the men - who still hold a vast majority of policy level positions - are to blame. I think people who don't vote are to blame. I think that people who don't lobby their representatives, their companies, their neighbors for better care programs, better employee life friendly policies, equal pay for equal work initiatives are to blame.

SUS

Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 11:28am
I am glad your plan is working out. While I agree being married and have a child is wonderful it is something completely different from going to college. It is a unique experience. The only thing comparable would be taking part in the Peace Corps or joining the military.

Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 11:32am
And I don't think going to college in your 40s is in any way the same thing. Doesn't mean it's right for everyone.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 11:34am
Opting out of the workforce - why is that a perjorative view of SAH?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 12:23pm
Perhaps because of the context it was used...Just becuase we have some biological urge to reproduce doesn't mean we have to opt out and SAH.

This represents a positive or neutral statement regarding SAH?

I guess, then, that saying just because we can WOH doesn't mean we should opt out and get a job, and not mean anything by that either.

SUS

Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 12:30pm
I do not understand the last paragraph in your post. What is a WOHM opting out of? If a working woman quits the workforce after she has a baby she is opting out of the workforce. how is this statement itself untrue or negative?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 12:36pm
Again, it the context. If a parent decides to go back to work after having a child they are opting out of staying at home and experiencing life that way. How is that untrue or negative?

SUS

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 12:41pm
Our three choices for broadening our horizons are the military, the Peace Corp and college? That doesn't seem very broad to me.

SUS

Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 12:50pm
No,there are many ways to broaden one's horizons. However, there are some similarities between those three experiences.
Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 12:52pm
By returning to work, you are opting out of not working outside the home? huh?

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