How prevelant is this attitude?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
How prevelant is this attitude?
222
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 11:29am
A post below peeked my interest, as I have run into this a few times IRL, and alot online. How prevelant is the thinking that SAHP's are just home because they expect someone else to support them. Or because they are too lazy to get a job or keep a job. I didn't really keep up on the story of that governor who had twins while in office, but if I remember, her husband was a SAHP and it was constantly rumored that he wasn't a SAHD, he just couldn't keep a job. That may be true, I don't know, but I found it interesting that it even came up.

In the past, I have run into alot of people (alot in my own disfunctional family) who view the SAHP (me at the time) as someone who either cannot or won't hold down a job. They (in a general sense) tend to overlook the SAHP as someone who is not worthwhile of their time and attention. I know that there are judgements made on both sides of this, and I think we hear alot of the SAHP's judgements here because it tends to ruffle feathers. But I'm wondering how many other people have run into the WOHP's judgements or even to hear from WOHPs here who have the same judgements because I really don't understand this way of thinking.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 12:55pm
Exactly. Why would only work one way?

SUS

Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 1:04pm
If a person chose to attend college, would you say that they opted out of not attending college and experiencing life without college?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 1:09pm
I don't think that most jobs or SAH exposes you to a variety of cultures and perspectives the way those three do. Not all colleges (e.g., community college) necessarily do either. But no, I don't think just living in your community, raising your kids and going to your job every day, in most cases "broadens your horizons."

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 1:12pm
Yes, please explain. I don't understand why "opt out" is negative. It's a neutral to me.

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Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 1:14pm
Actually an acquaintance who had a baby recently told me that she is staying home so she can raise her child not a daycare. So I guess that suggests I must have opted out of raising my child
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 1:29pm
Then it doesn't matter if decide to "opt out" of working or staying at home. Perhaps it is that the wording itself is a negative (opting out vs choosing/deciding). I believe that much of time the nuances in the words we choose do have meaning.

SUS

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 1:30pm
No but *I* wouldn't say that a person who chooses to stay home "opted out" of working. And again, the op said that they "opt out". This is from a person that holds the opinoin that people who SAH do not function in the reald world. Context matters.

SUS

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 1:31pm
However you want to word it, it certainly sounds judgemental to me.

SUS

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 1:34pm
Ahhh (with the exception of the military) money purchases broadened horizons.

FWIW - my community college classes were much more diverse than the private university classes.

SUS

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 1:38pm
Diverse in what way? Fellow classmates? Subject matter?

Why do you say money buys broadened horizons? How do you need money to join the Peace Corps or the military?

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