How young is too young?daycare?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2003
How young is too young?daycare?
954
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 1:00am
If you have a career and you had a baby what age would you think is apropriate to send your child to daycare/dayhome after they were born?

I have a friend that is a dayhome provider, she has 10mnth old twins and she was provinding care for a 2yr old. Mom of the 2yr old just had a baby and she was back to work when baby was 4days old, in my friends care. It is only half days now, but she is soon going to be full time, the baby is almost 5wks. Thoughts?

Be who you are and say what you feel because those  who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 3:58pm
No? I'm surprised. We must not be reading the same posts, or must not be reading the same posts the same way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 4:01pm
Can you show me an example of the posts you're referring to?
Virgo
Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 4:05pm
"I'm of course not saying that subs are better all the time, but I have friends and relatives that do not have the patience or temperament or money to be with their kids 24/7. That doesn't mean they don't love their kids. They aren't bad parents. But they can't be caregivers 24/7."

So, if you don't have the patience or the temperament to provide caregiving 24/7, you can just pay a substitute to do it for you right? What makes you think a substitute would have the patience or temperament, if a PARENT doesn't?

Why do people view 24/7 caregiving with such loathesome contempt? I mean, what is so horrible about providing personal, sensitive, individualized care for your children? Why do people view caregiving in general as somehow "beneath them"? Why does society as a whole, fail to recognize the importance and significance of high quality PARENTAL caregiving? Why is it acceptable to pay someone else to do the job, especially if a parent simply "doesn't want to" or is "unwilling to" do it themselves? Why are "paid" caregivers at the bottom of the barrel when it comes to wages?

I simply don't understand it. Aren't our children worth more than that? Does it all come down to a paycheck? Is a person's "worth" truely determined by their salary? Are SAHP's somehow "worth" LESS than someone who earns a salary? Is a person's self-esteem as well as their very sense of self, dependent on having a "career" or at least a "paying job"? Is success in life dependent on "making money"? In other words, is making money truely the primary goal in most people's lives? Is making money truely the meaning of life?

Well, making money certainly isn't the primary goal in MY life, nor does it determine my self worth, influence my self esteem, or even bring me happiness and fulfillment!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 4:08pm
Any post in which a poster claims it makes absolutely no difference to a child with whom that child spends 8 hrs. of their day because no one is "raising" their children but them. Of course it makes a difference, otherwise people could reasonably choose a care provider solely by price. Sometimes it's a positive difference, sometimes it's a negative one, sometimes it's neutral, but of course it makes a difference.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 4:11pm
I am not trying to convince anyone of the quality of daycare. I have said REPEATEDLY that I am referring to the dc in my area. There is not a high quality facility in the area. I was not trying to impress you with dd1's credentials either, but was simply responding to your contention that she was not able to provide adequate care for her brother if she was in university - although your mother could do it while caring for two and teaching full time... hmmm... odd.

My degree is in Social Work - why?

How much parenting experience did you have before you became a parent? Did I say dd1 had never been responsible for a pet? She provided excellent quality care. I could give a hoot about your standards.

Now then, one more time... in my area there are only poor quality dc centers. Many of the dayhomes have been investigated for abuse. In fact there is a dayhome provider in my area, who was just yesterday convicted of manslaughter for the death of a 7 month old infant in her home. She became frustrated and threw the infant fracturing her skull. Now you go ahead and give me the stats on these incidents, but they don't mean squat to that poor baby's parents. This dayhome was investigated twice by our CPS office. There was never *enough* to open a file and of course due to confidentiality the parents of the children in her home were never advised that she was being investigated. So are you telling me that if you were me, knowing what was going on (understand that I had info most parents don't), you would feel more confident placing your infant in one of these dayhomes than entrusting your infant to your adult child whom you have watched interact with your infant? And you have high standards??? PUHLEEZE

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 4:23pm

"So, if you don't have the patience or the temperament to provide caregiving 24/7, you can just pay a substitute to do it for you right?"


I pay a substitute to provide care for up to 50 hours a week because DH and I work, not primarily because I don't have the patience or temperament to do it 24/7 (but you're right, I don't and I know it).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 4:25pm

But that doesn't mean that they are claiming that they are the ONLY person raising the children. . .they could mean just as I said. . .that child care providers and teachers and family friends, et al. . .raise children IN CONJUNCTION with. . .but not INSTEAD OF parents.


There is a difference.

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 4:32pm

Why is it always either/or with

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 4:35pm
"So, if you don't have the patience or the temperament to provide caregiving 24/7, you can just pay a substitute to do it for you right? "

Out of curiousity, does your husband have the patience and/or temperament to provide caregiving 24/7? Was the decision to have him by the provider solely based on the fact that he could earn more but otherwise would have been equally happy to have the responsibility of 24/7 caregiving? If not, why does he get the fun of being a parent?

" Is a person's self-esteem as well as their very sense of self, dependent on having a "career" or at least a "paying job"? Is success in life dependent on "making money"? In other words, is making money truely the primary goal in most people's lives? "

I would venture to guess that much of the above is, in fact, true for your dh. Presumably if your primary goal in life is 24/7 caregiving, then your husband's primary goal in life is to make the money to make that possible. And I suspect that a great deal of his self-esteem is based on how well he can support you all and having a career.....and yet, you would probably swear up and down that he is a wonderful parent to your daughter. Things that make you go hmmmm.


Laura

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 4:37pm
Don't bother. She'll never get it.

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