How young is too young?daycare?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2003
How young is too young?daycare?
954
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 1:00am
If you have a career and you had a baby what age would you think is apropriate to send your child to daycare/dayhome after they were born?

I have a friend that is a dayhome provider, she has 10mnth old twins and she was provinding care for a 2yr old. Mom of the 2yr old just had a baby and she was back to work when baby was 4days old, in my friends care. It is only half days now, but she is soon going to be full time, the baby is almost 5wks. Thoughts?

Be who you are and say what you feel because those  who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 4:46pm
I don't understand why you are sounding riled over this. I agree with you. It would make a lot more SENSE if "they could mean just as I said. . .that child care providers and teachers and family friends, et al. . .raise children IN CONJUNCTION with. . .but not INSTEAD OF parents,", but nevertheless I have specifically seen people here say that the parents are the ONLY ones "raising" their children. And I have also seen people here argue until they were blue in the face that quality DC/quality SAH isn't different (which I think is preposterous). I didn't say there were many such, but neither do I see "many" posts which say that only SAH parents "raise" their children. (And the ones I do, I think are just stupid, as presumably they have WOH spouses who would be very surprised to find out that they had torn up their parent card by putting food on the table.)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 5:03pm
Feel better now??? You really should watch where that spewage spreads.

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where in the heck did you get THAT from? Luckily, the VAST MAJORITY of parents KNOW that parenting is about more than providing financial support? Does your dh know that parenting is more than providing financial support?

<<>

Big ole DUH! EVERY good, involved parent KNOWS that?

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 5:12pm
don't waste your breath. she will not answer and if she does it will just be the same old, rhetorical, ignorant garbage. it has ALL been explained to her AD NAUSEUM, but she can't absorb it in her ULTRA black & white world.

keep doing what you're doing. i've been doing it for 12+ YEARS (8 years with all 3 kids). She'll just NEVER get it, but it's NOT for our lack of trying.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 5:14pm
Again, its a crap shoot!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 5:24pm
Whoa there opinion 123... count to three before you post, but most importantly read before you respond. You see, it was I who hired my dd to care for my infant, not momofhk to whom you are bashing MY choice of a caregiver.

Not that it matters, but I did not convince or MAKE my dd1 care for my infant. I was not planning to return to work because of the lack of options in my area and she offered. You have no information to base your determination that she was not an excellent choice. Of course you also have no way of knowing (before coming to your absurd conclusions)that I was no more than a phone call and 5 minutes away, that I was able to pop in at least twice per day, and that dd really enjoyed caring for her brother. Due to her schedule, she wasn't able to continue beyond two semesters, which also worked out nicely since I was pregnant and ready for another mat leave! And I am quite certain that her mind WAS on other things - god I hope so - mine certainly is. Isn't yours? What about other WOHMs, is their mind only on their children? Sheesh, then they should stay home!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 5:27pm
<<>> YUP! she sure did!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 5:27pm
Excellent post!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 5:37pm
I've heard the phrase, I just don't agree with it. I'd agree with the part about grandparents, siblings, and other relatives however, children do not NEED or REQUIRE "substitute care". The ONLY reason children NEED substitute care, is because their parents FAILED to plan ahead, or because parents simply DON'T WANT TO DO IT THEMSELVES.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 5:47pm
your post creates such room for thought, as most of what you say is nothing but your opinion based on what you read in the newspapers and what you see on tv. i have three children, ages 21, 20 and 16, and i worked in a school cafeteria for six years, so i have been around thousands of kids over the past 21 years. it is my personal experience...thats right, hands on knowledge....that the kids who are doing the shooting in schools and doing drugs, and in gangs, are kids who are unattended, period. whether it be a daycare looking after them, or a parent. my children had a gun in their faces in middle school and the kid who had it *had* a sahm, who did drugs herself, and her son had seen more in his 14 years of life than any of us see in a life time. she is just one example of a lousy sahm, so just because she is there, does *not* mean it is best for the child. i know of lots of kids who were in the school i worked who went home to alcoholic, drug addicted moms who locked themselves in their bedrooms with their bottles and needles and the kids(i worked in a k-3 elementary school) were left to fend for themselves.

my point being the mothers work status has absolutely NOTHING to do with whether the kids do drugs, shoot people, yadah, yadah. it has to do with parents who care regardless of their work status, and even then, the kids are going to do what the kids want to do. did you forget they are born with brains of their own????

i dont care how much experience you have with kids, your views are waaaaaaay off what is real.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 6:01pm
<>

and actually, children do not NEED or REQUIRE a sahp, either.

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yes, no doubt you would reach such an ignorantly ERRONEOUS conclusion. In fact, many parents use childcare providers because they HAVE PLANNED -- they've just planned it differently than you, but certainly NOT wrong.

as for parents "not wanting to do it themselves", LOL! right, we have kids so that even on days that we work, we spend UPWARDS of 16+ HOURS "not wanting to do it ourselves". In fact, MOST parents do it by themselves (sure with a little bit of help along the way) because ULTIMATELY, the responsibility for their health, social, emotional, educational and religious needs fall to (wait! can it be?) --- MOM and DAD.

but don't worry. NO ONE here in this discussion expects you to understand any of the REALITY of raising kids in a dual-wohp. you've shown yourself incapable of that kind of empathetic understanding.

eileen

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