How young is too young?daycare?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2003
How young is too young?daycare?
954
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 1:00am
If you have a career and you had a baby what age would you think is apropriate to send your child to daycare/dayhome after they were born?

I have a friend that is a dayhome provider, she has 10mnth old twins and she was provinding care for a 2yr old. Mom of the 2yr old just had a baby and she was back to work when baby was 4days old, in my friends care. It is only half days now, but she is soon going to be full time, the baby is almost 5wks. Thoughts?

Be who you are and say what you feel because those  who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 6:01pm
And the point I'm trying to make is that children do not NEED or REQUIRE substitute caregivers to be a part of the "child rearing team"? Parents are the ones who NEED and REQUIRE substitute caregivers, NOT children. Do you see the difference? The ONLY people that are NEEDED or REQUIRED as part of the "child rearing team" are those who have a "long term vested interest" in the children.

Do children NEED or REQUIRE a multitude of substitute caregivers? Do they somehow benefit from receiving inconsistent substitute group care? What about all the parents who claim that their children's DC setting is a higher quality setting than they themselves can provide at home? What does this say about the home environments of these children? Do parents really expect someone else to provide sensitive care for their children, give them individualized one on one attention, and provide them with a high quality learning enviroment when they are UNWILLING to do it THEMSLEVES for their OWN CHILDREN in their OWN HOMES? What gives?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 6:03pm
Umm, I think you have me confused with someone else LOL?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 6:16pm
children do not NEED or REQUIRE a sahp. And what kids are receiving inconsistent group care? Surely, you're not suggesting that my son's 3 years with the same provider were inconsistent? NOR his or his sisters' 2 years in the same preschool? sure we had a few nanny change overs, BUT we've had wonderful stability with one staying 2.5 years, one for 1.5 years and one for 1 year....and the most important stability of all -- PARENTS.

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Parents do provide just such high quality learning environments each and every day. and on top of that they provide love and support -- and all the other things that kids need. How incredibly STUPID to think that parents can't do all this in 128 HOURS per week -- OR that kids "NEED" and "REQUIRE" a sahp!

Most of us know much, much better.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 6:21pm
I never said that I "don't value any social group beyond the family." I simply don't think that children NEED or REQUIRE extensive socializing before the age of 3, or at ANY age for that matter.

Sure, humans are "social animals" however, they do not NEED extensive membership in a social group at the expense of the family unit. Being a member of a social group, should be balanced with being a member of a family unit, rather than skewed one way or the other.

Just for the record, I firmly believe that a child must be given ample time and opportunity to become an "individual" BEFORE he or she can become an effective participant in a "social group". Do you agree or disagree? How exactly can a child have "ample time and opportunity to become an individual" if the majority of his or her time is spent in group care?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 6:22pm
Where is that "what the..." emoticon?



Some reasons why children need substitute care:

1. single parent who needs her/his income to support the family

2. dual parents who need 2 incomes to support the family

3. parents who choose to WOH because it's best for the FAMILY

Few other thoughts:

1. What you said is incredibly insulting to child care providers. Many are incredibly loving and competent people who are a Godsend to WOH parents.

2. "Failed to plan?" Well, most of us who use child care planned for months and months to find the right DC situation for our children.

3. "Don't want to do it themselves?" doesn't apply.

4. My nanny is better at many things pertaining to caring for my dd than some of my relatives. And there are some relatives that I would NEVER leave alone with my dd.

Wow. What can I say? I generally give people the benefit of doubt.... until I see something that says, "there's no hope."

Edited to add: I'm assuming you have children (well at least one given your screen name). I feel sorry for them that you have such a limited view of "parenting."


Edited 12/11/2003 6:25:04 PM ET by iaudrey00

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 6:36pm
CONSISTENT??? Didn't you post that your 3 children have had 30+ caregivers over the years? Is this what you mean by CONSISTENT LOL?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 6:50pm
i simply don't think that children NEED or REQUIRE a sahp. being a member of a family should be balanced with being a member of a social group. Not surprisingly (at least to the intelligent, "knowing" people who use childcare here), children are NOT in group care a majority of their day. There are 4-6 HOURS per day (M-F)+ 12 HOURS per day on weekends, holidays and vacations, 50+ AWAKE HOURS per week -- Plenty of time for them to learn how to BE an individual IN ADDITION to participating in groups.

Really, please stop. It's just so sad to watch.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 7:02pm
the stupidity in your statement is only surpassed by your believing that it has anything to do with the most important consistency -- that of mom and dad....the high caregiver rate is mostly due to alyssa's changing home health aides -- and finding one who can work the hours needed. in fact right now, our saturday morning aide has been with us for over one year, her evening aide for almost 11 months. did i mention that she's been in the same classroom for 6 YEARS -- 4 OF THOSE WITH THE SAME TEACHER?

ASTOUNDINGLY STUPID THING TO SAY, BUT, SADLY, NOT SURPRISING.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 7:03pm
Proper Tooth And Jaw Development

Babies who nurse from the breast use their mouths differently in sucking than babies who are bottle-fed. Your breast nipple shapes itself to the baby's mouth as the baby nurses. A mother's nipple is soft and flexible. It moves back into the baby's mouth and up against the roof of the mouth. The baby's cheek muscles and jaws work for the breast milk. The formula flows much more easily from the bottle. Many doctors feel that breast feeding leads to good development of the baby's jaw and facial muscles. In addition, the extra exercise required by the lips and tongue may help your child to speak more clearly and at a younger age.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 7:18pm
LOL! i guess no one told my youngest that she shouldn't be speaking in SENTENCES at 18 months.....

WRONG, as usual. But i'm sure you won't let that stop you.

I'll go with lauren's husband on this one. He sounds like a very, very smart man (and he's married to a very, very smart lady -- and BIL to the other very, very smart lady!).

eileen

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