How young is too young?daycare?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2003
How young is too young?daycare?
954
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 1:00am
If you have a career and you had a baby what age would you think is apropriate to send your child to daycare/dayhome after they were born?

I have a friend that is a dayhome provider, she has 10mnth old twins and she was provinding care for a 2yr old. Mom of the 2yr old just had a baby and she was back to work when baby was 4days old, in my friends care. It is only half days now, but she is soon going to be full time, the baby is almost 5wks. Thoughts?

Be who you are and say what you feel because those  who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 11:51am
Neither one of my children ever had a single bottle or drop of formula in their lives. Ds exclusively bf (as in no solids whatsoever, entirely his choice) until he was about 14 months old. Dd started slowly on solids somewhat earlier but wasn't an enthusiastic eater until she was about 12-13 months old. Neither one of them ever had a pacifer or sucked their thumbs. Ds starting talking when he was about 16 months old. Dd didn't start talking until she was about 2 (and there were concerns of delay in her case, which turned out to be unfounded). She didn't even start putting simply 2-word sentences together until she was 2.5. I'm guessing it's a personality thing. Your suggestions?


Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 11:56am

Why wouldn't school be considered substitute care in your mind?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 12:10pm
I would be part of the "don't see the need to have a parent with the children 24/7 in order to raise happy, healthy children" camp.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 12:10pm

Gee, I send my children to school to learn, be encourage and be cared for by teachers, not to play.

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 12:12pm
Hey Hollie, why don't you tell us how you *really* feel??? LOL! Your first line just killed me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 12:21pm
i stand corrected, then. i couldn't find any of the preceeding posts from the outline view, but i've hardly mastered this format.

i don't really stand convinced of the rest of it though. you seem to be describing suburbs around a city that contains even more employment than a single small college or university, which would all the more guarantee demand for and access to good-quality dc. now if what you're saying is that you lived in a suburban slum that happened to have one and only one employer--the social services office you worked for--within a one-hour commute of it--no other employers closer than the one-hour-away college or university--and you don't consider any dc outside the boundaries of that slum that contained both your house and employer accessible, then you could be telling the whole truth. but the simple facts that you describe your location as urban and your neighborhood as suburban, and that your employer was within easy breastfeeding-commuting distance from your home, suggest that there were other major industries/employers closer than the university, and that there was therefore considerable demand for better-than-slum-quality dc in your more immediate area than that one-hour commute. i'll add, then, that i can understand someone saying that there is no good dc within a few meters of her office, but i still don't believe that if a government office serving a metropolitan area was within a breastfeeding commute of your home, *no* good dc was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 12:21pm
I don't see any reason why parents would need extra help caring for their own children. For example, I have a SAHM friend who had no problem whatsoever caring for 2 special needs children (one with cp and one with down's) as well as a 7 month old baby, despite the fact that she lost her dh and was forced to care for her 3 children entirely on her own without even a spouse to help her.

In other words, if she can do it (and do it very well I might add), then anyone can do it. Sure, some people like my friend do have special considerations to deal with. But for the most part I think it is ultimately a parent's responsibility to care for their own children on a full-time basis.

However, in response to your question, "Is it OK to have extra help so long as a parent is physically present in the house?" I guess that wouldn't be a big deal, as long as "a parent is physically present as well as physically participating." In other words, if mom is asleep in the other room, technically speaking she is "physically present" however she is not "physically participating"? I have no problem with additional help as long as both parties are physically participating in the caregiving. However, except in very extreme cases, shouldn't parents be able to handle and care for their children entirely on their own?



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 12:32pm
"However, except in very extreme cases, shouldn't parents be able to handle and care for their children entirely on their own? "

Sure, and most parents can. But the question is whether having the parents handle and care for their children entirely on their own (I assume you mean under 4, since you are obviously no longer doing this for your daughter) makes sense or is the best solution given any number of other factors. The sad thing is, you don't seem to be in the least interested in hearing about or understanding what those other factors might be.

But I'm guessing you won't answer this post either...I seem to have landed on your ignore list.

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 12:33pm
But all four children are not born at the same time, they aren't the same ages, there is a time period in which the first child is an only child, there are times when the older two may be at school while the younger two are at home with mom, etc.

In other words, having four children is NOT the same as having quadruplets that are all the same age, nor is it the same as having a 4:1 caregiver to infant ratio in a group care setting.

Bottom line - being a SAHM who cares for her own four children of various ages in her own home, is VERY different from having a substitute caregiver that cares for four infants who are very close in age in a group care setting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 12:35pm

"In other words, if she can do it (and do it very well I might add), then anyone can do it."


Why would you conclude this?

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