I haven't been here in years...thoughts on the board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-1998
I haven't been here in years...thoughts on the board.
5
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 12:35pm

I found ivillage (parentsoup) 15 years ago when my kids were 4 and 1.  I was working FT then, and the particular Board had just started.  It was a vicious place, with SAHM's and WOHM's defending their lifestyles and attacking each other.  I just quit participating after awhile, although I did "meet" some nice folk.  I just happened to be playing around and thought I'd see how this board has progressed.  I'm pleasantly surprised at the majority of topics and tones I see here now.  I'm glad things seem to be coming around more and more that there is just not one "right" way. 

When my oldest started first grade, I began working PT..just during school hours.  My own personal thoughts?  I loved being able to get my kids and take them home from school.  After years of daycare, it was a treat for me.  But you know what?  I really don't think it matters in regards to their future happiness and success.  I live in a neighborhood of 400 families, our moms groups has as many SAHM's, WOHM's, PT WOHM's, work at home moms.   Some of the brightest and most well adjusted teens turned out to be children of WOHM's...going to Ivy League schools!!  One of my good friends is a SAHM and her kids are ultra-bright...all 3 successful.  I told you my situation, well my oldest suffers from depression and executive dysfunction.  My youngest is cheerful and bright and motivated to do well.  IT_JUST_DOESN'T_MATTER what you choose to do.

As long as the child is loved, cherished and not abused, their own souls will dictate what they do, who they will become and what they will be.  Genetics play a BIG factor.  So, everyone do what they need to do as a mom to keep themselves happy and sane.  If we are all happy and sane, that is the what they need the most...above everything else.  I agree there are extremes of every type, but I'm talking about most of us.

So...here's to you all.  Happy mothering....and as the movie says, "The kids are alright".

T.

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009

That is pretty much my take as well, first of all do no harm, next good enough is good enough and third, make sure you are happy with whatever you choose to do. People who are happy and confident in their choices tend to make those choices work.

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
This board can still be pretty brutal, Lol but I agree with your thoughts. I started posting in 2001 or 2002 and my kids were babies, They're teenagers and a preteen now, Where has time gone! I really don't think our choices matter more than being happy/content/at peace in our elements, Those have been my experiences anyway and I truly enjoy watching my kids grow up.

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-1998

Sometimes I can't believe how my boys tower over me now. We were watching videos of them when they were little. How I wish there was a time machine that I could jump into and revisit those precious children. Sometimes I feel like those children are gone, and now exist different people in their place that I call my sons. I do miss the easy of our old family life (when we had total control and no teenage angst). One is at college and the other so busy. At times I find I don't know what to do with myself even working 30 hours a week.  I'm just not needed physically like before.  I cherish those times they need my help!  I remember thinking years ago..i'd give my right hand for some "me" time! 

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Conmama, when mine was turning 3, she did not seem excited about the upcoming birthday. Finally I asked her directly, and she said, gravely, "Well, mommy, now that I am turning 3, I worry." Her teen angst was actually somewhat limited compared to what she managed to put out there prior to becoming a teen, lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-1998

That is just hilarious!  Actually, my younger son has been a breeze...only a little angst, not much at all.  Now the oldest...oh my...I should have bought stock in Miss Clairol!