"I just don't want to work"

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2007
"I just don't want to work"
2418
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 10:06pm

Hi all... I'm new to the board and I am curious.


I am in my mid twenties, unmarried, no children. I work in an extremely competitive field with many other women my age. Many of us are making six figures and the job is very stressful. We all have a great work ethic, but sometimes when the stress gets really bad, I'll often hear the girls (never the guys) saying things like "Arrgghh... I'm so sick of work. I just want to marry a rich man, have kids, stay home and NOT WORK."....... I was raised by two working parents (two very loving, caring hardworking parents). My mother was very successful in her career, and I feel that when I get married, I will (like my mom) continue to work and raise children at the same time (my mom was definitely "super mom" ---she did it all and was great!)...... My main question: many of the women in my work stay in the position for about 5-7 years and then leave.....the funny thing is...

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2007
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 10:19pm

This is just my opinion and I don't mean to offend anyone at all.

My mother worked and my sisters and I were all in daycare. My parents spent as much time as they could with my sisters and me, but I really feel I missed out on a lot.

It's just my personal belief that if you are going to have children, you should raise them...not send them to daycare to be in a room with a bunch of other children and not receiving much attention one-on-one.

There are cases where parents have no choice and I totally understand that. I am not saying daycare is bad either. I went to daycare. I don't feel I'm damaged because of it in any way.

However, I think the women say "I stay at home with the kids" because that is exactly what they're doing. They're at home with the kids...nurturing them and taking care of them.

Personally, until you have stayed at home with children all day for months or years on end, you cannot know the amount of work that is put into caring for kids. You are a 24-hour on-call nurse.

But, at the same time, I'd rather be with my child any day than make six figures. Who cares? Money is money...it comes and goes.

Image generated by TextSpace.net, hosted on ImageShack.us

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 10:49pm


Here we go agian!! What makes you believe that DC is raising my child?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 10:58pm

<>


What did you miss out during your daycare years?

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 11:02pm

"Money is money...it comes and goes."

and again....sentiments like these are usually bandied about by people for whom money isn't a real issue.

a 24-hour on call nurse? no thank you.... not this mom.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2007
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 11:04pm

I'm really just speaking in regards to the early years...not when the children are going to school. That's something that is not avoidable...and at that age, they really yearn to be around other children and I don't think homeschooling is a good idea (for most families) for many reasons.

I'd also like to say that I have worked before. But it was on my husband's 3 days off. It ended up not working out because he switched jobs, but I worked for a while nonetheless.

I never want to make anyone feel that I think they are less of a mother for working. My own mother worked. I love my mom and think she did a fantastic job. But everyone has opinions and it's just mine that I want to be the one witnessing all of the first smiles, first time sitting up, etc.

In the end, nothing else matters other than what works for you and your family. Staying at home is what works for mine. And working is what works for some others. At the end of the day, we are all one thing...mothers that love our kids.

Image generated by TextSpace.net, hosted on ImageShack.us

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2007
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 11:05pm
Money is an issue in my home. My husband's income is 45k, we have $500 in credit card payments every month, plus all of other other bills that come with owning a home and two cars. We do struggle sometimes, but that's a sacrifice that I make in order to be home.
Image generated by TextSpace.net, hosted on ImageShack.us

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 11:06pm

"I never want to make anyone feel that I think they are less of a mother for working. "

And you think the way to do this is by hauling out the old "don't have kids if you're not going to stay home and 'raise' them" line? Yeah...that'll definitely do the trick.

 

Yes. We. Did.

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 11:07pm
great for you. not a sacrifice I was willing to make though -- (and before we get the ole "just cut out cable' argument..I'm a single mom...but I'd be working even if I wasn't. I worked when married, I work divorced..I'll always work...I love what I do.)

 

Yes. We. Did.

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 11:09pm

My mother worked and my sisters and I were all in daycare. My parents spent as much time as they could with my sisters and me, but I really feel I missed out on a lot. "


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2007
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 11:10pm

When I posted in this thread, I was really responding to the OP. She just seemed as if her six figure money job was the most important thing. That is why I said that I don't understand why people have kids and send them to daycare. Because it seems like she is more concerned with her money and social status.

All the same, I really don't feel like I'm making that much of a financial sacrifice being at home. We have cable, high-speed internet, all the little luxuries and I would never expect a family to go without those if they didn't want to.

Image generated by TextSpace.net, hosted on ImageShack.us

Pages