"I just don't want to work"

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2007
"I just don't want to work"
2418
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 10:06pm

Hi all... I'm new to the board and I am curious.


I am in my mid twenties, unmarried, no children. I work in an extremely competitive field with many other women my age. Many of us are making six figures and the job is very stressful. We all have a great work ethic, but sometimes when the stress gets really bad, I'll often hear the girls (never the guys) saying things like "Arrgghh... I'm so sick of work. I just want to marry a rich man, have kids, stay home and NOT WORK."....... I was raised by two working parents (two very loving, caring hardworking parents). My mother was very successful in her career, and I feel that when I get married, I will (like my mom) continue to work and raise children at the same time (my mom was definitely "super mom" ---she did it all and was great!)...... My main question: many of the women in my work stay in the position for about 5-7 years and then leave.....the funny thing is...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-29-2007 - 3:28pm
How old are your children, and how many do you have?

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Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 10-29-2007 - 3:30pm

The notion that all dual wohp families are drowing in stuff is just as irritatings ometimes as the notion that every person with weight issues does nothing but eat junk food all day -- things are much more complex than that.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-29-2007 - 3:30pm
Only 60 per week.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2004
Mon, 10-29-2007 - 3:34pm

I buy alot of organic, lots of fresh foods, but then I freeze them along with meat and bread and such the point is buying when it's on sale not right when you need it. We do have some processed foods, but keep them as healthy as possible. We are runners in this house and keep our junk intake to a minimum. Of course, no teenage boys here, YET!

I'm glad you shop sales, I've never implied that WOHM never do so. I was just pointing out that just because I'm a SAHM doesn't mean that I have to make all our clothes to survive (which BTW, I am a sewer and you CAN'T make clothes for cheaper than you can buy them now adays, I only make things because I enjoy sewing). You only prove my point further by pointing out your great deals!!

We have one car that is paid for and one that requires a payment. We are acutally looking into trading both in to get two newer cars for the smae that we've been paying for my one car, which is doable.

I'm not sure what your point is here. Someone else was saying that she didn't want to hear about having to sew clothes out of curtains and drive old beaters to SAH, and I was pointing out that it was a falsity that you have to do those things.

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 10-29-2007 - 3:36pm
$500 is half of my mortgage -- the thought that I would ever spend that much on shoes is laughable.... again this notion that working moms are all out there frittering away money is remarkably disconnected from the reality of working families today -- that last pair of shoes I bought were $12.99 at target,w here I buy all my clothes if I buy new clothes at all.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2004
Mon, 10-29-2007 - 3:47pm

"As mothers of older children will tell you, pre teens and teenagers take as much, if not more energy and one on one care as younger ones do."

Yes, my mother actually waited until we were preteens to stay home from work. I think though that if you were in desperate need of setting away money AND you wanted to be home with the kids in the afternoon a p/t job during school hours would work really well.

Somehow I think that you ladies seem to be confused and think that I'm against WOHM. Maybe there are those like that here, but I'm not. I just hate it when I see info that is terribly wrong about SAHMs. This board seem to be terribly vetriolic against SAHMs even when they aren't posting some hard core position.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2004
Mon, 10-29-2007 - 4:06pm

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Please point out where I said this. I said that WE were, and that as such WE noticed after I SAH that we could do without. I know many families that have two WOHP that are as well (my old neighbors were prime examples and would argue vehemently that they couldn't afford to stay home but wanted to yet had a garage PACKED with stuff they didn't even LOOK at and they added to it all the time), however I know MANY families with two WOHP that still scrape by with very little. I don't know why you are taking my deffense of my lifestyle as an attack on yours!

"Does it mean i scrape by? yes...does it mean I work nights in a bookstore to pay for my mom to stay in her nursnig home? yes....is that hard? yes. But I find meaning in my work and that's more important."

I'm sorry, you are treating this as if I've somehow attacked you, and I'm pretty sure I didn't, but if I did, please quote it for me so that I can alter it. Again, please don't take it as on offense to you when I feel the need to deffend my reasons to stay home to someone who stereotypes SAHM as lazy, curtain wearing women!

"What I was trying to get at though is that often on these boards the "oh peole and love are worth more than money" drum is banged most loudly by those who have husbands who make a boat load of the money....."

OK, and I'm saying that your DH DOESN'T have to make a buttload of money to feel that way. I have several GREAT friends that feel this way and give up WAY more than I'd be willing to in order to stay home. One of which has a special needs kid and would never be capable of holding a job because of the amount of energy that it consumes just taking him to therapy and Dr.s. I don't think you have to be a SAHM to see that people have a value not measured in dollars, but as a SAHM I'm frustrated to hear eople assume that just because you don't have an income then you don't contribute anything to society. I'd like to think that since I do something that many pay others to do for them 40+ hours a week that it PROVES that what I do has value. Obviously some do not feel that way, I guess they aren't getting anything value for the money they spend everyday. Go figure.

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 10-29-2007 - 4:09pm

Fine... your life is great mine is great ...more power to us.


I"m pretty sure the curtain wearing was a joke about the sound of music movie-- not meant to be taken seriously and probably made by me b/c I like to work references to musical theater in wherever I can.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2004
Mon, 10-29-2007 - 4:22pm
But it was used to make a point that I found fault with and I just continued with that point. There were other things said.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-29-2007 - 4:22pm

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