I need advice ASAP!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2007
I need advice ASAP!!!
16
Sat, 02-02-2008 - 8:43pm

My husband and I are arguing for weeks now about paternity leave. My husband wants to have 3 months off from work , his reasons is to help me with the baby. I am happy that he is willing to help me but we are in tight budget right now. I am trying to convince him just for 2 weeks paid vacation and he disagree. This is our first baby for 11 years of being married. But if he goes to paternity leave , we cannot pay all our bills and especially we are going to have baby. I dont knwo how expencive will be to have a baby. All the people that I know said that having a child is expencive and I dont know how expensive is expensive.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Sat, 02-02-2008 - 9:10pm

Based on another post in a different thread, you neglected to mention that you currently work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2008
Sat, 02-02-2008 - 9:47pm

I think your husband would be better off with just the 2 weeks vacation as you suggested. I can tell you that I really wish I would've had somebody helping me after I had my baby especially since I delivered via CS, but 3 months... that is double what most women get as maternity leave... and you said you had your sister.

You were wondering how expensive is expensive... well, I guess it depends, really. You will use about 1 pack of diapers a week, if you decide to formula feed, Enfamil is 20 some dollars a can and you need about one of those a week, in the first few months of life you have a bunch of pediatrician's visits so the co-pays for those are usually about $30-$35... You also need all the little things from bottles, pacifiers, talcum powder... plus clothing, lotion, oh, so many things and they really add up.

I think you should try doing some research and make a list of all the stuff you will need and how much is going to cost for each item individually. To that, add all your regular expenses, including food, rent/mtg, miscellaneous, etc than divide it by 3 (since that is the length of time he wants to stay home)and show it to your DH. You can talk it through and figure out if you can afford it, and if you can, than it is wonderful.

Anyway, good luck to you and I hope you have an easy pregnancy and a beautiful, healthy baby :)

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-02-2008 - 10:31pm

First congrats on the new baby to be.


My DH is a SAHD --- but --- I can tell you that its relatively easy to take care of my now 11 week old son (and my 4.5 year old twins) on my own. When he's out doing things its no problem. When I SAH till my twins were 14 months old I had some help, but that was with preemie twins.
I think you should

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Sat, 02-02-2008 - 11:49pm
My husband took 3 weeks.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Sun, 02-03-2008 - 12:29am

After a couple weeks of healing, you really won't need help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2007
Sun, 02-03-2008 - 8:12am

Turn this around.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Sun, 02-03-2008 - 10:29am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2007
Sun, 02-03-2008 - 1:23pm

I think that's as much his call as hers.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2007
Sun, 02-03-2008 - 1:30pm
I agree.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Sun, 02-03-2008 - 2:31pm

I didn't say he "shouldn't" take time off, just that if his taking time off is going to mean that they can't make their bills - then THAT is wrong -- and not a good family decision.


It sounds to me like they can't afford for both of them to take time off.....


eileen

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