Identity Crisis -- please help!

Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Identity Crisis -- please help!
19
Tue, 06-24-2003 - 7:27am
I always thought I was your typical mom-type person with varied interests and responsibilities. But reading this board is making my head spin.

Here is how I can currently define myself based on what I am reading:

1. Leech (as oppposed to "leach," which refers to water passing through a vessel). Because I am financially semi-dependent on my DH, I am sucking the life-blood out of him.

2. Emasculator. Because I ask him to do dishes or bring up a load of laundry -- AFTER HE HAS WORKED ALL DAY! -- I am weakening him in body and spirit.

3. Susy-homemaker. I hate hate hate cleaning house, but I also hate living in a dirty house. So I clean it on a regular basis. I even go shopping for items to make it look better!!!

4. WAHM. Although I bring in a significant amount of income, I don't work out of the home. Does that make me lazy? Not self-sufficient? Unequal to my DH? A level above SAHMs but two levels below WOHMs?

5. Someone who "opted out." I couldn't "handle" working FT out of the home and taking care of my son. So I "opted out" and started my own business. I have done a serious disservice to all woman kind.

6. SAHM. My son is in school but on vacations and holidays, I'm a SAHM. I certainly felt like one yesterday -- you know, spending the day lazing around doing nothing. ROFL

7. Upper middle class? Middle class? Or part of the unwashed masses? I have a state-funded education. In terms of my job, I am self-educated. My horizons haven't been broadened with travel abroad. I read trashy novels.

I could go on but you get the picture. Can you tell me what I am (besides crazy, LOL)?

outside_the_box_mom

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Avatar for kazoomom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-24-2003 - 7:29am
I say you are woman, hear you ROAR!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-24-2003 - 7:37am
You are Outside The Box, natch. It's a pretty small box and I'm not really sure if anybody fits inside it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2003
Tue, 06-24-2003 - 7:39am
Working woman who does 40hrs housework (majority myself) so that makes me a "suzy homemaker" & is financially totally dependent on Dh & I use a sitter over dcp or home based provider style care. I (for me) don't place value on a job for my sources of self-esteem, ego, and equality I care nothing about!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-24-2003 - 9:10am
Hey, AHPs also keep the bon-bon conveyor belts rolling, giving real people real jobs. And don't for a minute think you aren't important, if we all stopped watching those Soap Operas, how many people would lose their advertising jobs at Johnson&Johnson, Palmolive and Huggies? Without us, daytime tv will just turn into a massive 9 hour a day infomercial on how to sue for a dog bite, slip and fall, or other injury that could be someone else's fault!

Loved your post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-24-2003 - 9:27am
Doesn't that definition fit all of us? I mean, how many of you are single WOHMs who get along well enough with your ex to vacation together as a family, work night shift and have a platonic roommate?
Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 06-24-2003 - 9:34am
Hey, if I labeled myself according to *this board* I'd be on anti-depressents for years. I'm just Lauren.

I wouldn't worry about what labels get thrown around here. They're all blown way out of proportion, anyway, right? That's why I've not participated much lately.

Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-24-2003 - 9:44am
Are they blown out of proportion? Depends on who you talk to. According to one person, the labels are God's own truth.

outside_the_box_mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-24-2003 - 9:47am
i think that the essential point is the usual: reading not "this board" as a whole but a certain poster's posts specifically has done this. most of us don't appreciate the broad-brush treatment that several of you can't seem to argue a point without.
Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 06-24-2003 - 10:01am
Actually, I've seen it often with several people on both "sides" of the debate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Tue, 06-24-2003 - 11:05am
Wait a minute, are you my sister? Cause you just described her!

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