Ideological or practical debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2009
Ideological or practical debate?
31
Thu, 03-26-2009 - 3:10pm

Hi there, I've been lurking a bit and I must say I'm a little confused.


Is this workaholic moms who don't know their kids versus granola moms who don't let their kids out of their sight until they're 10?


Is this basically for middle class white women? Is there much posting by women or color? Aren't most moms just trying to make a living one way or another?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Thu, 03-26-2009 - 3:17pm

Well, we are who we are. For the *MOST* part, on this board, I think we're pretty much middle class white American woman, but I wouldn't state that it universally applies to everyone. However, the demographics of THIS board are not necessarily reflected throughout ivillage.

I know another debate board I post on has a much more diverse membership. Americans make up only about 50% of the posters there, with others coming from Canada, the UK and the Caribbean. Women of color probably make up 50% of the membership there. Maybe a bit more, maybe a bit less. The median age there is probably high 20s/early 30s, whereas here its probably mid to high 30s. or possibly into the early 40s (it's hard to keep track).

I don't know that I've answered your question, but did it help at all?

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Kitty

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Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2009
Thu, 03-26-2009 - 3:20pm
Thanks. What are the main points of difference between the SAHMs and the WOHMs?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Thu, 03-26-2009 - 3:31pm

Here? We use the terms *mainly* to describe employment status.

A SAHM would be a Mom who doesn't work outside the home, or at home (such as a home day care provider).

A WAHM would be a Mom who works at home. (such as the home day care provider mentioned above)

A WOHM would be a Mom who works outside the home.

Now, to me, personally? That encompasses the entirety of the difference between those three designations, beyond the differences that separate ALL of us from each other. I don't think SAHMs are any better or any worse Moms than WOHMs or WAHMs. And for the record, I'm a WOHM. As was my Mom before me (and my dad's Mom before her). And Dad's grandmom for that matter. But I have aunts and cousins who are SAHMs whom I love and adore, just like I have aunts and cousins (and both my sisters) who are WOHMs whom I love and adore. And some cousins who WAH. And I love and adore them, too. (yeah, I have a big family--dad is the oldest of 8)

Particularly if you're the kind of Mom who's going to post here? Particularly in THIS debate? The odds are, you're probably a pretty good Mom--you have to be if you care enough to explore the topic (doesn't mean those who don't explore it aren't, but simply those who aren't good parents almost never worry that they might suck, you know what I mean? You might have some who aren't great parents, but they're trying to get better? Which, I think pulls them soundly out of "sucky parenting 101".

anyway, that's my take on it.

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Kitty

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Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2009
Thu, 03-26-2009 - 4:13pm

"That encompasses the entirety of the difference between those three designations, beyond the differences that separate ALL of us from each other."


So the point is to debunk stereotypes about work status?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Thu, 03-26-2009 - 4:47pm

No. There are other people on the board (not that you could tell by this thread LOL) and they have other opinions. A good number of other posters share my viewpoint, but not all.

I mean, there's no universal ideology that defines WOH, WAH or SAH--some women work because they're the sole providers of the household, even though they'd rather be home. Some women SAH because of a child with special needs or a desire to home school, even if in an ideal world, they'd rather work outside the home. Some women are vehement believers that SAH is the "only true way" to parent and we have, right here on this board, a vehement believer in WOH being the One True Way.

:::shrug::: You can't pigeonhole us into one set of belief systems that defines SAH/WOH/WAH--that's why I said at the beginning, those labels only have meaning from the sense of employment status. Beyond that, they don't really describe any of their individual groups of women. We aren't all blonde or all green-eyed or all 5'6". We aren't all Christian or from Iowa. We don't all believe only our way of parenting is the right one and we don't all believe that all choices for employment status are equally good.

And this board is where we discuss those issues, thrash them out and occasionally enjoy a bit of cyber popcorn together. It's a community. That's the purpose. That, and arguing.

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Kitty

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Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 03-27-2009 - 9:15am
while i do believe we feed this debate often by the stereotypes that separate a WOHM from SAHM (you know,the WOHM is just working for her huge house,fancy car and other fancy belongings.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Fri, 03-27-2009 - 10:06am

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No, I think the majority of people here are "You do what is best for your particular self and family" moms, but we like to throw around a lot of ideological or hypothetical views and scenarios in the spirit of interesting conversation. There are a few people with militant views, but they are certainly not the majority (they just spark the most debate).

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I have no idea what anyone's race or ethnicity is on this board. I can't see them unless they post a picture.

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In my opinion, yes.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2008
Fri, 03-27-2009 - 11:14am

From what I can tell, it's both. The problem occurs when the two collide.


>>Aren't most moms just trying to make a living one way or another<<


I would think so.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2009
Fri, 03-27-2009 - 11:38am
Pardon me, when which two collide?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2008
Fri, 03-27-2009 - 11:49am
Ideological debate collides with practical debate .... the question in her title.

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